Wanna be somebody else
Every once in a while the boyfriend and I have a fight. It’s always almost exactly the same fight and it’s always be who starts it. And every time we make up I realise ho unnecessary the whole thing was. If only I didn’t think so negativly… if only my trying to say how I feel didn’t sound do accusing… if only I realised before I opened my mouth that this problem is all mine. I’m the one that feels hurt and rejected. I’m the one that feels unattractive. I’m the one that reads into things too much. Then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn’t have to argue at all.
SO I’ve decided this needs to stop. I need to stop thinking negatively. I need to get to the root of my problem before I open my big mouth. I need to stop making assumptions. Basically, I just need to change everything about me.
How hard can that be?
- Posted in: life
Battling negativity is a hard task. I’ve gone through the same thing. It took years. Sometimes the negativity still gets to me. But you know what? It was so worth it. I’m so much happier now than I was.
I hope everything works out for the better.
I don’t like reading posts like this one very much. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. Yes, we all have faults we need to work on and it gets easier if you’re conscious of the problems but you do not need to change who you are. Please remember that you’re beautiful and amazing, just as you are when you start to feel negative. xxxxxxxx
Thank you Amanda. I’ve been trying to stop my negative thoughts since we got together (7 years ago!!) but they still creep up on me WAY too often.
sleepyjane – thank you. That’s nice of you to say
I’m feeling better today, but there is still so much I need to chang. I’m not QUITE as bad as I make out when I’m down, but I’m not too great either x
PS. This is Amanda from Redefinition Mission. In case you were wondering.
Being his sister and holding the record for thinking-negatively I can assure you that (even though all of this might be your fault – or better: something that is worth to be changed by you in order to live a better life) you have a boyfriend that isn’t exactly emphatic when it comes to emotional things – which, according to me, might also be a reason for the occurrence of conflicts. Anyways – chin up.
Thank you sweetie. I like that you put “something that is worth to be changed by you in order to live a better life”. Jan says one of my problems is that I’m always looking for someone who is “at fault” (usually ending with my blaming myself). He may be right )that doesn’t make him any better at understanding how I feel though).