Confuzzledom

Just a place for me to gather my thoughts

Six months to go!

10 Comments

29 1/2

My 30th birthday is exactly six months today.

Last year, I thought nothing could be worse than 29. After my 29th birthday, I knew that none of the things I would have liked to have done before 30 was happening. Have a baby? Only if I managed to get pregnant within 3 months of my birthday. Even if we’d decided to try the chances of someone who’s been on the pill for 10 years getting pregnant straight away are fairly low. Get married? Sure, if I was willing to forego the whole being engaged part – and the bit where I get to arrange my dream wedding – and elope or something. 29, as far as I was concerned, was already too late (I know, how stupid, right? No lectures please! But that’s how I felt.). So 30 shouldn’t be too much of a shock to the system. After all, by the time the big birthday came around I’d have had a year to get used to the fact that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. After 29, 30 was going to be a piece of cake (mmm, cake!).


Six months on, it appears I was wrong. I still want to bury my head in the sand and pretend my next birthday is never, ever going to come. I still find myself comparing my life to everyone else’s and wondering what, exactly, I’ll have to show for myself once I hit 30. No kids, no husband, no PhD (just a Master’s, which anyone can get), no amazing career. I don’t even own a house (unlike my younger sister – there I go comparing again!) Okay, I moved to Germany, but I came to be with my boyfriend – a built in support network. And I studied German. Not nearly as impressive as dropping everything to move to South Korea without knowing the language first, or emigrating to Australia alone. In fact, I’ve never even been to either of those places. Most of my travel has been within Europe. For holidays – not real, life changing travel. And I still live close enough to my family to be able to run away back home if necessary. As for a career, while I love my job, dedicating my whole life to a career is the last thing I want!

So, six months away from my 30th birthday, I still have no idea what I want to do and feel like I’ve achieved very little. Please tell me this is just a symptom of reaching that milestone and things do get better?

On the plus side, I’m up to 12 in my list of 30 German Towns Before 30, so the remaining 18 should be achievable. I just need to finally get round to blogging about those I actually have been to…

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Author: bevchen

No longer twenty-something, but still unmarried and unchildrened, English girl currently living in Germany. I work at a translation company and am slightly obsessed with books and travel. I also cross stitch.

10 thoughts on “Six months to go!

  1. Ok, let a 30-year-old tell you: Things do get better! I went through a transformation when I was 29. Everyone around me was getting pregnant and married. I was single and had no clue which direction I wanted my life to take. I just knew I needed a change. I went through a pretty dark time, but then, suddenly, out of nowhere, I found something I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to: music. I kind of believe that this was fate because almost everything changed from then on. New job, new city and a new love (after years of being single where I just had lost hope I’d ever find someone again). I think the key is to figure out what you really want. For yourself. And then be brave enough to go for it. No matter what other people think. It takes time, but you’ll get there eventually.

  2. I’m 5 days after you and feel exactly the same some days.

  3. I’m going to be very honest here. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a number and is no different to 25 or 35. There is no rule that says you have to be married with children at 30, 35 or 40. And who cares whether you have a PHD or a house? The only important thing in life is to live it and enjoy it. If something is not how you want it to be then change it (and by that I don’t mean getting knocked up accidentally on purpose!!) I had a house by the time I was 30, then I realised it wasn’t as great as it sounded. It stopped me from travelling and ate up all of my money, so I got rid of it and changed my life to suit me, not everyone else. I never had an issue with turning 30 and I won’t have an issue with turning 40 because my motto is ‘I only have one life and I’m going to live it to the full’. So basically, if you aren’t happy, then try something else. But don’t think you have to change your life because of some unrealistic expectation you have placed on yourself. :D

    • To be fair, I don’t even want a PhD ;-) It’s just an example of things other people have done while I’ve seemingly been doing nothing. OK, I’ve travelled, but just day trips and holidays, not what I’d call “real” travel.

      I panicked when I turned 25 as well (quarter of a century – waaaaah!). I guess I’m just a naturally panicky person. But then, I also originally wanted to be a mother by 25, so for me 30 isn’t “just” a number but the first “significant” age at which I’m STILL childless. There’s no rule that you have to have had kids by 30, but it was something I really wanted.

  4. I didn’t like my 30th birthday at all, mostly because I had liked being a twenty-something, and I was annoyed at the whole prospect of aging.

    HOWEVER: My life kind of sucked at 30. I had just started a new job that paid just barely enough to live with cost of living in my town. I was single and running with tremendous debt. And so on and so on.

    What I found was that every birthday after that depressing 30th was just fine, though. After 30, I managed to buy my own home, and sell it off again just before I came to Germany. The debt was dealt with, not without frustration and pain, but there it is. That new job that didn’t pay well to start had lots of opportunities hidden within, and in the last ten years, it’s given me five title changes and fifteen raises, along with the opportunity to travel all over the world- two weeks in Hong Kong for the company, and now three years living in Germany where I can travel all over Europe on any given weekend.

    Ok, so I’m still single, but everything else is better. My point is this: Don’t let 30 get you *too* down. Feel free to mourn the passing of your twenties a little bit, but don’t wallow. It only gets more fun from here on out. :)

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