My dad sent me this joke a while ago, and as I have nothing else to blog about today I thought I’d share. Fellow northerners will appreciate it. Southerners perhaps not so much 😉
Fahrenheit Temperature Scale:
50 degrees – Southerners turn on their heating. People in Newcastle plant their gardens.
40 – Southerners shiver uncontrollably. People in Newcastle sunbathe.
35 – Southern cars will not start. People in Newcastle drive with their windows down.
20 – Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats. People in Newcastle throw on a t-shirt and girls wear mini skirts.
15 – Southerners begin to evacuate. People in Newcastle go swimming in the North Sea.
Zero – Southern landlords turn up the heat. People in Newcastle have a last BBQ before it gets cold.
Minus 10 – Southerners cease to exist. People in Newcastle throw on a light jacket.
Minus 80 – Polar bears wonder if it is all worth it. Boy Scouts in Newcastle begin wearing long trousers.
Minus 100 – Santa abandons North Pole. People in Newcastle put on long johns.
Minus 173 – Alcohol freezes. People in Newcastle become frustrated because the pubs shut.
Minus 297 – Microbial life starts to disappear. Cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.
Minus 460 – All atomic motion stops. People in Newcastle begin to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
Minus 500 – Hell freezes over. Sunderland qualify for Europe.