(WARNING: This entry is going to be a long one!)
There was a mosquito in my room last night.
I had turned out the light and was snuggling down to get some well earned rest when I heard that distinctive mosquito noise next to my ear. Bloody things can’t just buzz like normal insects. No, it was that horrible high-pitched squeeee. Pathetic I know, but that sound terrifies me. I instantly sat up, one hand flailing around my ears in an attempt to get it away from me, and switched on the light. No way was I going to sleep with that thing in the room. And thus began the great mosquito hunt of 2008.
Unlike my boyfriend I can’t just squish insects with the palm of my hand (it’s disgusting! And what if it manages to get me while I’m trying to get it?), so the first thing to do was find a suitable mosquito squashing implement. A paper plate left over from my birthday picnic seemed perfect. Then came stage 2 – finding the stupid creature. Suprisingly, it didn’t take long. There it was above my bed. Lurking. Waiting for me to turn the light back out so it could squeeee it’s way past my ear again. Psychological warfare, that’s what it is! Well I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, was I? BANG went my paper plate on the wall. Naturally I missed. I always miss. So off I went again to find out where his evilness had hidden himself this time. It wasn’t so easy second time round, but after turning on the big light and pacing the room twice I spotted him on the wardrobe door. BANG! “Where is he? Did I get him?” Mr Mosquito was nowhere to be seen, but neither were any mosquito remains. Time for another patrol of the bedroom. After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching I decided to hope I’d managed to get him and return to bed.
Of course the evil git wasn’t dead was he. No, he was just hiding… waiting for the right moment.
As soon as I’d got snuggled up nice and cozy and was starting to doze off the high-pitched squeeee came again, right next to my ear. Aaarggh! This time my first reaction was to hide my head under the quilt. Then after a few minutes I slowly crept out, turned the light back on and reached for my paper plate. The bloody thing was nowhere to be found! I walked up and down the room, peered into corners… I even walked up and down on the bed to try and get a different perspective on things. No mosquito. By this time it was 20 to 1. Less than 6 hours til I had to get up for work. I went and lay down on the bed, this time keeping the light on and my eyes open, then when I was so sleepy my eyes were starting to close I switched off the light. I actually managed to get to sleep, for a while. Then I was woken up by shouting from the bar. Yes people it was bar night again. Sigh. And shortly after that… squeeee. Aaarggh!! Again I couldn’t find the bloody thing anywhere. After 20 minutes of searching I finally gave up and went to bed. The good news is that was the last squeeee of the night. The bad news is that the people in the bar chose that moment to turn the music up reeeally loud. It was after 4am when I was finally able to get some sleep. And I had to be up at 6:30. Wonderful.
If the bloody mosquitos would only wait til I was asleep before coming out it would be fine. Sure, they’d bite me and it would itch in the morning, but that would only be annoying. It’s not like I live in a country where I’m likely to get malaria. But that high-pitched squeeee just can’t be ignored.
One good thing about autumn being on its way… soon all the mosquitos will be dead and my room will be all mine again!