Other people’s children

After yesterday’s epically long blog post (sorry about that!) I shall try to make this one a little shorter…

So, I went into the kitchen yesterday to make a cup of tea and ended up staying there for over an hour.  Two people who used to live here were there with their 4 month old daughter. The baby was asleep when I came in, but after a while she woke up and I got to meet her.
It was great to see the three of them. C&K seem really happy and the baby is gorgeous – she has the most beautiful blue eyes (I know babies are born with blue eyes but I think hers will stay blue now). I’m really pleased for them – but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel just a teeny bit jealous. Not that I want a baby now, or even any time soon (oh God, please no! I will murder anyone that even suggests it (watch out Grandma!)). But… I do want children at some point, and preferably while I’m still young enough to enjoy them (and while my remaining Grandparents are still alive – my dad’s mum is desperate to be a Great-Grandma. Desperate I tell you!) I also want to a) move in with someone, b) get engaged and c) get married at some point in the future. But right now I honestly can’t see any of those things happening. I have a boyfriend who would rather live with someone he was never even all that friendly with (they are part of the same circle of friends but what they had before getting a flat together was more of a business relationship) because “he doesn’t know what he wants”. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but surely if he doesn’t know what he wants then what he has can’t be it. Because once you’ve found what you want you know it. And I know I’m difficult (I sure as hell wouldn’t want to put up with me!), but I do try. And I love him. Surely that must count for something? So yeah, I promised to try for another year (Remember my resolutions?). And after that? Who knows. Maybe it’s about time I started getting over my hatred of cats…

I also went out yesterday afternoon and bought a birthday card for my friend’s son who is one soon. Then I came home and wrapped up the presents I’ve bought for him, ready to send them to England next week. Yup, yesterday really was all about other people’s children.

Oh yes, and I bought myself a Valentine’s present yesterday as well. See, I’m perfectly capable of celebrating love day all on my own 😉

3 thoughts on “Other people’s children

  1. You never know what’s just around the corner. Let’s hope the boyfriend gets his act together and sorts out ‘what he wants’. It’s a bit harsh but I always think life’s too short to waste time waiting for someone else to decide what you should do with your life, you know? Okay sorry, unsolicited, annoying advice, ignore me I’m tired!

  2. I agree with Ali. I’m hoping things will sort things out. I got out of a rel’ship a year ago, as I’ve waited for 7 years. I’m single now and quite enjoying it amidst the pressures of having kids and all.

    But, like you, I buy/treat myself things/events to celebrate certain holidays =). It’s good to celebrate even if you’re on your own.

  3. Ali – no, not harsh at all. I actually agree with you – life is too short to sit around waiting for other people to make their minds up. But on the other hand I am still young and it’s not like I actually want to do the whole marriage and babies thing yet, so I figure a little waiting can’t hurt.

    Kayni – thanks. I’m sure things will sort themselves out, one way or another 🙂

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