No more staying up late and living on cake

I am terrible at being on my own. Absolutley terrible.
For a start there’s the whole making meals just for me thing. I walk into the kitchen, examine the food on the shelves, open the fridge, close it again and think about how long it takes to peel potatoes/slice carrots/chop an onions. Then my mind drifts to all the dishes that will have to be used to make a proper meal. Dishes that will then have to be washed up afterwards. By me. And I decide there’s no point in going to all that effort when nobody else is around to eat the food I prepare. And so, in the 5 days since Jan went away, I have been living on potato croquettes (just shove them in the oven and wait!), chocolate raisins, cake (not even home made cake I’m ashamed to say) and those Knorr instant thingies that claim to turn into pasta in cheese sauce or spaghetti bolognese as soon as you add boiling water.

Then there’s the sleeping thing. I’m used to sharing a bed with Jan. He’s here almost every night. When he’s not at mine I sometimes join him at his. On the nights that he’s at his place and I’m at mine I have trouble sleeping. The bed seems to magically grow… surely it hasn’t always been that big? The room feels colder, the flat emptier (actually that last one kind of makes sense. The flat is emptier…I’m the only person in it). But it’s okay, because usually it’s only for one night. When he goes away though, it’s not just for one night, but for a couple of days, a weekend, an entire week…
Which is why, since Wednesday, I haven’t made it to bed before midnight once. And even after getting into bed I’ve chosen reading until 1 or 2 am over going to sleep.

All that has to chnge now though. I start my new job tomorrow. That means getting up early enough to be showered, dressed, breakfasted and on the train that leaves Karlsruhe at 7:30 am. It also means eating a proper breakfast so I’m not starving by 9 o’clock. And it means preparing something proper to eat for my lunch.

I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be a real, employed member of society again!


11 thoughts on “No more staying up late and living on cake

  1. I must say, when my girlfriend is away, I kind of chose the bucket of Ice Cream over proper food too. But hey, it makes it possible to have happy thoughts even trough a bit of loneliness!

  2. Hey, at least he’s coming back!! The loneliness is a lot harder to put up with when he’s, erm, dumped you. Sigh, woe-is-me, etc. But yay for new job! Hope it goes well – enjoy! x

  3. peteadkins – it may be a problem when I have to work the next day though! Anyway, from now on my reading time will be the train journey – an hour each way!

    sleepyjane – thanks 🙂 I know what you mean, he annoys me sometimes but I hate it when he’s not here

    Ian – oh, I want ice cream now!

    Hails – But at least as a dumpee you have an excuse to eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A better excuse than “I am a lazy cow and cooking for myself is just soooo much effort”. Whinge, bitch, moan, etc.
    New job is good. new job means I get to talk to someone – I think I’ve said about 6 words in the past 72 hours, and all of them were to the woman on the checkout at the supermarket.

  4. It’s like returning to school after summer holidays, especially since you’re starting your new job on September 1st! So you know you’ll be excited for a while, then cranky, then you’ll be right into the rhythm of it – proper food and all! Best of luck!

  5. I’m waiting, currently, to see how long my honey will have to go out of town on business….and I know how it goes with the whole food thing – I don’t like to “make” things for myself when he isn’t here.

  6. Yep, jobs do that to you, make you be a proper person in society, soon you’ll even be cleaning dishes up after yourself and everything! Too crazy for me. I’d rather be self-employed 😉

  7. pinklea – it is like going back to school! Except much scarier. It went ok though.

    Jessica – it sucks doesn’t it

    Amanda – tell me about it! I’m already planning what I’m going to buy with it.

    Margarita – I was considering going freelance if I didn’t find a job but it’s all just too complicated! I don’t think being employed will make em any more likely to wash the dishes though – in fact, I’ll probably end up doing them even less becasue I get in soo late 😉

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