And the world keeps turning…

My sick note ran out yesterday, so I started work again today. I could have had it extended, but now that I’m feeling so much better physically (although still not 100%) I didn’t think sitting on my own going over the same thoughts would do me any good, and the longer I waited to go back the harder it would be. I have Friday off for my follow-up hospital appointment, so this way I’m being eased into it gently.

Once I had responded to the messages of condolences my colleagues had sent to my work e-mail address, I settled back into work. It was strange to go back to the familiar pattern – although there wasn’t a great deal to do today. An internal translation for my colleague. A translation for a familiar customer. Some feedback to check and incorporate into our translation memory. While my life was being changed forever, the rest of the world kept on turning. The leaves turned from green to red, brown and gold. My proofreader finished the job that was due while I was in hospital. Another translator took on the one I hadn’t started yet.

Everything has changed, but in some ways everything has stayed the same. Maybe that’s a good thing?

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17 thoughts on “And the world keeps turning…

  1. “While my life was being changed forever, the rest of the world kept on turning.”

    This always surprises me, too, even though it logically shouldn’t. Any time something life changing or earth shattering is happening in my life, I always feel like the rest of the world should stop and take notice- but it never does. We’re the protagonist in our own stories, but to the rest of the world, we’re just background.

  2. I sometimes don’t think it’s fair what we have to deal with on our own and everyone else has no knowledge of our pain and yet we can’t easily voice this pain either. Take it easy. Do what’s best for you and take your time and heal.

    1. Yes, even though I went through this “publicly” so to speak (because we had already announced), to everyone else it’s a momentary sadness… everyone feels sorry for me, I’ve had lots of messages of support, but still for them life goes on. Of course, it’s been the same for me in the past. It’s just such a strange feeling.

    1. Work have been really good so far. I’ve got Friday off because they totally understood that I wouldn’t want to go back straight after my appointment and they’ve already agreed to me not coming in for my usual day in the office this month. I’ve also got some time off at the beginning of November that I had already applied for, and then before I know it we’ll be closed for Christmas anyway.

    1. Thank you for your comment.
      I think being back at work will be helpful for me. The distraction will do me good, even if it all seems pointless right now. All the “urgent” and “important” texts that just make me roll my eyes and think “No, this is really not important!”. Getting back into a routine is good though.

  3. Thinking of you. It’s so strange and awful and frustrating how the world keeps moving when our lives seemingly stand still. Don’t feel like you’ve been forgotten about, though. Many people are still seeing you and sending you healing vibes while they go about their day to day ❤

  4. In reply to your comment on my blog, in case you don’t return to the post to read my reply I wanted to leave it here too.
    I felt normal for months after our loss, it felt wrong to feel so normal but, as you say, grief is a strange thing. I’m glad your shoes looked good and fit well, and that it made you happy. Please don’t feel bad for any moment of happiness that comes your way, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care, it’s just that sometimes we can’t have any more sad, and that moment of happiness sustains us for a while.
    xx

    1. Yes, in a way it’s comforting to know that the world hasn’t ended even if it feels like it should have. It’s strange for everything to be so normal though – sometimes it almost feels like the entire thing was a dream and I was never pregnant at all.

  5. Different things work for different people, but, hard as it is to go back to work quickly, I agree it’s the best thing to do. The routine keeps you going as you have to keep going. When my dad died in the evening, three days before my 12th birthday, my mum sent us to school the next day. It seemed cruel, but the routine really helped and I didn’t have to dread going back to face everyone as I should have had to if I’d had time off. I still miss him 51 years on. The world does keep turning, but I hope that doesn’t mean it doesn’t care. Thinking of you all

    1. It is good to get back into a routine. Definitely more helpful than sitting at home by myself.
      People are still being lovely and I’ve had a few messages over the weekend from people saying they’re still thinking about us. It is weird to be doing “normal” things again but it will only get easier as time goes on. We’re trying to look to the future now – Jan starts a new job soon and we want to meet with the fertility specialist and find out where we even go from here.

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