September 2019 recap

Before I get into today’s post, I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the fact that today is exactly one year since we lost our boys. I never thought I would reach this date again and still be no closer to being a mother. (And please don’t give me any comments about how I still am my babies’ mama, they are always with me, etc. While true, it is not the same as having a living, breathing child to take care of and love). In honour of this day, I thought I would share the only “bump” photo in existence from my pregnancy – courtesy of my mother who insisted on taking it. I was planning to wait until I actually looked pregnant and not just bloated and frumpy, but I never got the chance.


This and a handful of ultrasound printouts are the only evidence I have that I was ever pregnant. Oh well, gotta keep swimming, to paraphrase Dory. I’m meeting up with my great aunt and uncle this morning (no work because it’s a holiday in Germany), but I hope I’ll be able to go to the cemetery later.

Anyway, on to my September recap, although honestly the entire month went by in a flash and I don’t feel like I did much at all. I’m linking up with the lovely Kristen, of course.

whats new with you

Travel/day trips

Jan was away on the first full weekend of the month, so on the Saturday I went for a bit of an explore. There’s a place close to Basel called Münchenstein and I had read there’s a ruined castle there, right in the centre of the village, so I went in search of it. I forgot to take my camera so I can’t show you a photo (although I put some phone shots on Instagram, which you my have seen if we’re connected on there), but I found it. The path/stairs outside and the house next to it are private property but there’s a sign saying you can walk there. Nonetheless, a woman standing outside one of the buildings at the bottom of the stairs spotted me reading the sign and glared at me like I was desecrating the place. Rude! The following weekend, Jan was away again, but the one after that was the only one in the entire month where he wasn’t either away with a choir or spending both Saturday and Sunday at rehearsals. We decided to go out for the afternoon on the Saturday, but needed somewhere close since he had to do something with a choir in the evening (literally stand outside the theatre and hum for 9 minutes, then leave. Weird project). We decided on Brugg, which the Internet told me is a “picturesque town”. Spoiler alert: it’s not! I mean, it’s not horrible… there are a couple of nice buildings and the river is pretty, but when I read “picturesque” I kind of expect something more. Windisch, which is either the neighbouring town or a district of Brugg (I never quite figured it out), has the remains of a Roman amphitheatre – called Vindonissa – so that was kind of cool. We had a nice afternoon, but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend going out of your way to visit Brugg.

Comedy stuff

We went to see John Cleese at the beginning of the month. I think people who didn’t know much of his stuff would have got more out of it since the show mainly consisted of him showing clips from various things on a large screen and explaining how they came up with it/the background to certain things or just showing his favourite clips. It was a bit like a documentary about projects John Cleese had been involved in, but live. Not that it wasn’t good, but I’m not sure it was worth what we paid for the tickets. Oh well.

Cross stitch and card making

I was mostly making Halloween cards in September – I’m now up to 14 completed. Plus a few birthday cards for Post Pals. I meant to start on my Christmas card cross stitching and technically I did, but I only completed one design so I really, really need to get a move on in October!


For the second month in a row, I read 13 books. I had days where I didn’t pick up a book at all, which is unusual for me. I was tired most of the time and I also got stuck on one book that I enjoyed when I was reading it but never seemed to feel like picking up. Still, 13 is a decent amount so I’m happy.


I got the box set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for my birthday, so Jan and I started watching that in September. I am loving my trip back down memory lane so far. I’m hoping Jan will have some time to continue watching it with me this month because October feels like the perfect time for demons and vampires and all things undead.


My “baby” brother turned 13 (I officially feel old!) and my godson turned seven. Not that I actually celebrated either birthday since they are in England and I’m not, but they happened. Here’s the birthday card I stitched for my brother (I’ve blurred out the name):

teenager card

Also, I started my current job on 1 September 2009, so it was my 10-year anniversary. Again, I did not actually celebrate but I got a letter from the bosses and will get a one-off bonus payment with my October wages. Perfect timing for Christmas shopping!

Miscellaneous/general life stuff

I don’t really have much to add in this section. I’ve been trying to declutter… using the Swiss method – basically take an empty cardboard box, write the word “Gratis” (=free) on it, fill with things you don’t want and place outside for the neighbours to help themselves. I managed to get rid of a few things that way. I also took about 25 books to free public bookcases in September… I still have a few more in the carrier bag I mentioned in my last post, but I will hopefully be taking those away this weekend. I made apple and rhubarb crumble the other week to use up some apples that we’d had for too long (the rhubarb was frozen) and I decided it should definitely count towards my 5-a-day since I didn’t put any sugar at all in the filling. The topping contained wholegrain porridge oats and pecan nuts. I am a crumble-making genius.

That’s all I’ve got for ya. Like I said, this month went by way too fast.
Let me know what you’ve been up to lately, and of course check out the link up to find out what’s new with the rest of the blogosphere.

31 thoughts on “September 2019 recap

  1. Your cross-stitch cards are amazing!
    I can’t believe it’s been a year for you. You survived. And even though this past year hasn’t gone how you’d planned at all, you’re stronger and smarter and better for just surviving it. I’m sending you all the baby vibes I can. When you’re blessed with some Earth-side babies you’re going to be the best mama. Thinking of you guys today ❤

  2. No words, but thinking of you and this day. While not the same, I had a miscarriage very early on in my first pregnancy and I completely get what you mean about not wanting some of the sentiments…nice thoughts but, no.

    Between the crumble, Buffy, & the books it sounds like you are celebrating fall in great ways!

  3. Sorry for you loss again. I 100% understand how you feel as I am in a very similar spot (i wasnt as far along as you though and I can imagine that is even more painful). One step and day at a time. sending you big hugs and good vibes!

    1. I’m so sorry. No matter how far along you were it sucks. I do feel like believing I was out of the woods made it worse though. One day at a time has been my motto this whole year. Sending you so much love too.

    1. Thank you ❤

      Theoretically I can see a castle from my home office window 😉 It's not a "real" castle though – just a big house that the owner called a castle because he wanted to live in one. It's a restaurant now.

  4. Thinking of you – especially as next Wednesday is the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week. I don’t know if you have found this blog – written by a family friend who lost twins. If it helps, that’s good- if not, please do not be offended. []

  5. I can’t imagine the pain or how hard this day must be for you and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Sending lots of love and hugs.

    Can you overnight some of that crumble to Kansas? lol we finally have some glorious fall weather and your crumble sounds like the perfect accompaniment.

    Looking forward to your recap on the 13 books you read this month. Take care!

  6. I’m sorry it’s a sad anniversary… 😦 . And I agree: it’s not the same as being a mother. I also think that answering questions and accepting comments, however well-meaning, causes a lot of stress and anxiety.

    That’s impressive on the book count!

  7. Hugs for you and Jan. It was nice to see that picture of you. Your apple and rhubard sounds good. I made pears and honey earlier! I will make sure I don’t go to Brugg! I AM going to Bruges however! What a shame about John Cleese- I would be disappointed too! You want to see HIM being funny!

  8. oh Bev. I feel so wretched and selfish. I can’t believe it has been a year. I wish I could do something. Virtual hugs. I’m glad you have that photo your mother took. I know what you mean about ‘you’re still a mother’ comments. It’s funny, perhaps I’m just an awful person – when people say I’m not a mother, I’m like how dare you, I totally am, it counts. But if they say I am a mother, I’m like don’t be ridiculous, it doesn’t count. Apparently I just like to argue. happy 10 year anniversary at work!

    1. You are absolutely not selfish! You have so much of your own stuff going on and I obviously didn’t expect anyone to remember the anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year (plus a week now).
      I laughed at you liking to argue. I feel the same. Don’t tell me I’m not a mother – I went through labour and gave birth to those boys! But also don’t say I am a mother when I’m sitting here in my same old childless life!

  9. I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the world lost your beautiful little boys. I’m sorry that you are no closer to being a mother, I know that would have made the anniversary a little less painful. Thinking of you.
    That John Cleese event doesn’t sound like it would have been my cup of tea. It sounds like the residents of Brugg like to big up the place in order to get more visitors!

  10. Hugs! And the Swiss method is also the German method around here. I LOVE that I don´t have to think about where to take things to donate. The “zu mitnehmen” box is incredible. I´m actually waiting for it to stop raining to put one out.
    I´ve also picked up a gazillion random things from neighbors that way!

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