That time of week again…

It seems it’s Wednesday again. I’m not sure how mind – wasn’t it only just last Wednesday? Like right before I blinked my eyes? Hmm, well it seems the world is continuing to spin on its axis even if my brain can’t keep up and it is, indeed, Wednesday again. And that can only mean one thing… Question time!
Here we go.

1. Would I die if I boiled washing up liquid?
Yes, definitely. A horrible, painful death brought on by the poisonous fumes of evaporated washing up liquid. Either that or you’d be murdered by the next person to use the kettle. It’s just not worth it.

2. What is the name of my future boyfriend?
Ezekial Alexander Timothy Simmons. Whatever you do don’t call him Eats, or he may not be your future boyfriend after all…

3. Things to write about when bored.
– Purple monkeys
– Chocolate cake
– Spaghetti monsters
– The inhabitants of an imaginary island
– A haunted suitcase

4. How to get rid of a nervous headache.
Aww, the poor thing’s so nervous it had to hide inside your head. Try reading aloud to it from “The Little Book of Confidence”.

5. What to do if you miss the tram.
I suggest you panic. It’s what any sensible person would do. Alternatively you could learn to fly. Or just wait for the next one.

6. What to do when you’re bored of paper.
Go retro and start using a slate instead. They’re about due for a comeback anyway.

7. Is 25 still young enough to be naive?
I certainly hope not, cos if it is I’m screwed.
No, wait, not true. I’m not naive. At least I don’t think I am… am I?
I have to go and listen to the Kooks now – Naive is now playing inside my head and it sounds sooo much better when they do it!


Changing plans

It’s nearly my birthday. I’m going to be 25. That’s a quarter of a century!! How did that happen?

For years I thought 25 would be the perfect age to have a baby. Old enough to have finished uni and figured out what to do with my life, but still young enough to have more kids before I got old. Of course, back then I also thought I’d be married before I reached the grand old age of 25. I know, how naive right?

By the time my mum was 25 she already had 2 kids. She got pregnant with me at 19 (not planned) and I was born 18 days after her 20th birthday.
Growing up I loved having young parents. They were much less strict than my friends parents, some of whom were already in their late 30s and early 40s before they had kids. When I was a teenager all my friends wanted to have my dad. I was always the one that was alowed to host parties and whose dad never minded having a horde of 14 year olds in the loft playing computer games. Later I could go out drinking with my parents and have a good time. I still do go out drinking with my parents whenever I’m back in England. It’s brilliant!

So I wanted to be a young mum too. I wanted to be able to connect with my kids, be young enough to actually remember what it was like being a child, not be some old fuddy duddy mother who was old enough to be a Grandma. I also wanted (and still want) my kids to meet their grandparents.
And now I’m almost 25. I’m not married (or even close to being married) and I’m definitely not ready to look after a baby. My new perfect age to have my first child is 28. That way if I leave 2 years between them I still have time to have the second before I’m over 30. And by the time I’m 28 I’m pretty sure I will be ready to look after a baby. So 28 it is. The only problem is that’s in 3 years time. And I want to be married before my first child is born. Oh, and before that I want to be engaged for a while. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Look out for another similar blog in 3 years time… “I used to think 28 was the perfect age to have my first child, But now I’m actually going to be 28…”

This much is certain. If I don’t have a child by the time I’m 30 I’m not having any. I refuse to be an old mama!