On failing to get out of bed

I like to get up at 6:30 in the mornings.
Hang on a second, no I don’t. Nobody likes to get up at 6:30 in the mornings. That was just be weird. Even the strange guy on 5th floor who gets up early every single day, including weekends, doesn’t get up at 6:30. (He leaves it til 7). Let’s start this again shall we…

On weekday mornings I have to leave the house at 7:35am. So I try to get up at 6:30. That gives me a bit more than an hour to get ready. Not that I need over an hour to get ready, I just like to have it. I’m not the kind of person that likes to jump in and out of the shower in two minutes*, get dressed at the speed of light and eat breakfast so fast I barely have time to chew. I like to actually have a chance to sit down between activities. So I try to get myself out of bed at around 6:30 in the morning.
So far this week it hasn’t worked once. This morning it was ten to seven by the time I managed to drag myself out of bed. 45 minutes before time to leave. That meant 45 minutes to have a shower, get dressed, get my stuff ready for work, eat breakfast… I managed to do it and get out of the house in time, but it was such a rush. No standing under the shower just letting the warm water wash over me, no sitting down, just for a minute, before heading to the kitchen and (this one’s important) no time for a cup of tea. I had to wait until I got to work before I could imbibe any caffeine. *gasp, shock, horror*
So tomorrow it’s back to the drawing board again. Another attempt to drag myself out of bed on time even though it’s still dark outside. I’ve decide I need to set two alarms – one on the clock that I can keep turning off every five minutes (that one gets set for 6:15 to at least give me a chance of getting up by half past) and one on my phone set to just after 6:30. That’s the one to tell me “you better get up right now otherwise you’re going to be running around like a headless chicken all morning. Again.” What do you reckon, will it work?

*the recommended length of a shower by the way, or so I read in a German newspaper a couple of months ago. What I’d like to know is a) recommended by who exactly? and b) how is that even possible?? It takes me longer than 2 minutes to rinse the shampoo out of my hair…

And thus begins another week.

Another Monday morning. Once again the weekend went by far too fast. Not really surprising considering it’s only two days, and yet it does surprise me. Every single time.

Alarm Clock 2
Photo: Alan Cleaver

It’s been another one of those fun mornings where I wanted to stay in bed for five more minutes only to end up with the alarm somehow switched off instead of just snoozing. I’m starting to think it switches itself off after a certain number of snoozes. It’s the only explanation that makes sense cos it’s actually pretty difficult to press the off button by mistake. Anyway, this time I was lucky. I woke up at 3 minutes to 7 instead of 25 past.

The first time the alarm went off it woke me up from a dream in which Jan and I were getting a lift home with 3 people who were actually ghosts. The alarm beeped just as the ghosts were about to crash the car in the same place that they had died. If Jan had been there to give me a hug I wouldn’t have needed to keep pressing snooze. As it was I was still too creeped out by the dream to risk getting out from under the quilt. Yes, I know I’m pathetic.

Oh, and something has bitten me on my leg. Something vicious it seems, judging by the size of the lump. And I didn’t even hear the squeeee. The bastards are getting sneaky…

Anyway, gotta go. I’m currently trying to eat breakfast and type at the same time and I have to leave for work in 5 minutes…

Just five more minutes…

These days, my morning routine goes something like this:

6am. Beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep.
Huh? What? Time to get up already? Nooo, it can’t be! *snooze*
6:05am. Beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep.
Groooan. Still… too early. *snooze*
6:10am. Beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep….

This continues until
6:25am. Beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep.
*hit snooze* *check time* Oh, 6:25. Hmm, should really be getting up. Ohh, just 5 more minutes.

At 7:30 I usually manage to actually get up.
The are variations on this theme, of course. Some mornings I manage to drag myself from the bed at 6:20. Those are the days I actually have time to shave my legs. This morning was a 7:30 day, but then instead of going for a shower I just sat there staring into space for 5 minutes trying to summon up the energy to walk all the way to the end of the corridor.

I never used to have this miuch trouble getting up in the morning. As a teenager I was expected to get myself up for school in the morning. And I did it. Because the alternative would have been my dad waking me up before he went to work… over an hour earlier than I actually needed to get up. I even managed to get myself up for 9am lectures at uni. Most mornings at least. But now it seems no matter how early I go to bed I wake up still tired and find myself totally incapable of getting out of bed on time. Which leads me to believe it’s not my fault. Some external force is at work here which means that while I’m getting enough sleep at night it’s lacking in quality. There’s only one explanation for it. It has to be… the mattress. The crappy student residence mattress that causes me to wake up with a sore back every single Saturday.

Either that or I’m just crap at getting up for work in the morning.
I prefer to blame the mattress.