Let’s talk about CAKE!

Well, the flat-warming-slash-birthday celebration thingy was a success. Jan made guacamole, which was delicious (and also happens to be one of the things on his 101 things list – yes, he’s doing one too). Almost all of my chilli was eaten, and two people even took some home in tupperware tubs so it must have been good. And I made flat-warming cake, which I am now going to share with you, my internet pals, because it’s just too damn good not to. It is also my entry for the cake category of the Belgian Waffle Village Fete and believe me, it beats aubergine bee hands down.

cakePicture number one shows the basic cake, prior to icing. It was supposed to be chocolate cake. It looks more like my Grandma’s Yorkshire Parkin… all dark and sticky. I blame this on the random German syrupy stuff that I used in place of golden syrup. (Note to people living in Germany – if you replace the golden syrup in a recipe with Grafschafter Goldsaft it will not turn out like you’re expecting. Trust me on this one!) Also, notice how thin it is. I expected it to rise more than that, but apparantly using extra baking powder in the absence of self-raising flour (which doesn’t exist in Germany) does not work. Who knew?

cake2Stage 2 in the cake making process… chocolate butter icing. I had to add extra cocoa powder to mine because it was far too ridiculously sweet, even for me. The recipe called for 175 grams of icing sugar with only 75 grams of butter and two table spoons of cocoa powder. 175 g of icing sugar is just insane!

And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the finished product.I give you Flat-Warming Cake… or what happens when you let a person with no artistic talent whatsoever loose with M&Ms, little sugar stars and the mini breadstick things from those nutella dip cartons…

cake3It’s supposed to be my building, except one floor is missing because I ran out of space. My flat is on there though – the white window at the top. Also, check out my flower. And my tree. I am totally proud of them… in a half-amused kind of way.

In which I prove that carving vegetables is definitely not one of my talents

Oh God. I can’t believe I’m actually about to do this…
So I mentioned yesterday that I couldn’t think of anything to do for Jaywalker’s Belgian Waffle Village Fete 2009.
Today, as I was walking home from the boyfriend’s place I was struck by inspiration. I had to find a way to make a bee out of vegetables. After all, Bee was my nickname for a while. I dressed up as a bee for Halloween twice… and not while I was a child either. And I like bees. They make honey and, unlike wasps (aka the chavs of the insect world), they only sting when they have to. Sooo a bee it was.
For the yellow parts the obvious vegetable of choice was yellow pepper. I can’t stand green peppers and will only eat red pepper if it’s chopped up really small and mixed in with a sauce, but yellow peppers are fine. I’ll even eat them raw. This was an important point in the decision making process. I am unemployed you know, so any vegetable I bought would have to be eaten afterwards. I can’t afford to buy food just to throw it away.
For the black stripes I decided aubergine would have to do. I know they’re technically purple, but it’s a very dark shade of purple and I don’t know any vegetables that are actually really and truly black.

And so I present to you Aubergine Bee…
aubergine_beeHe even has wings (made from thinly sliced potato)! I wouldn’t advise him to do any flying with them though, it could be dangerous.

And now the view from the back, so you can check out his amazing garlic clove stinger. Oh yes, I thought of everything! (Well, everything apart from feelers and legs and stuff anyway….)

aubergine_bee-back And finally, for the sake of completeness, I suppose I’d better include the side view:
aubergine_bee-side

No actual bees were harmed in the making of this disaster, I promise!

Uninspired

First I really must apologise for my last post, for which the only accurate description would be self-pitying whine. I promise at some point I will write something interesting to make up for it. Probably not any time soon though. My inspiration levels are currently somewhere below zero. I can’t even think of anything ridiculous to craft out of vegetables for the Belgian Waffle Virtual Village Fête 2009, which, by the way, you should all participate in. Because who wouldn’t want to get creative with cake and soft stuff? It’s the way forward I’m telling you!

Oh, and I almost forget to mention that I’ve been invited for a job interview on Monday afternoon. So if you could all keep your fingers crossed and stuff I’d be most grateful.

Umm, that is all. I’m going to have a cup of tea now.