2014 on Confuzzledom

I’m fascinated by blog stats, particularly search terms, which are often hilarious. So here’s a look at my top search terms and most-viewed posts for 2014:

My top posts in 2014:

  1. Chicken, leek and bacon mashed potato topped pie. This post from last year randomly started getting loads of views in October and has featured in my stats every single day since then. It was viewed a total of 365 times from 28 December 2013 to 28 December 2014.
  2. I Wouldn’t Thank You for a Valentine. Usually this is my most viewed post, but this year it lagged behind with a mere 247 views. I wonder if that means teachers have stopped assigning it for GCSE?
  3. German Foods I Love and Loathe came third with 171 views, proving that you can never go wrong with sausages and potatoes 😉
  4. Sukie’s Cake Shop, Karlsruhe. A relatively recent post this one – I only wrote it in September. But it still managed a whole 164 views between then and now. Which just goes to show how few people are blogging about things to do in Karlsruhe!
  5. So You Want to Learn German? This post got 137 views. I just hope it was useful to someone…

And now my top search terms for the year

  • The mysterious woods of whistle root pennell
  • confuzzledom
  • give me something to do
  • rewe cafeteria frankfurt airport
  • nagold old church

Nothing particularly exciting there – the good search terms are usually the ones that only come up once. But it’s still interesting to see what most people who end up on my blog are looking for.

And now, in no particular order, my five favourite search terms that have found me this year. None are quite as fun as last year’s, but luckily I’m easily amused 😉

  • marketing xmas cards from ex colleagues
  • playmobile wino
  • linda the giant sausage
  • mmm stinky foot
  • xxx girl bum

Now it’s your turn… tell me about 2014 on your blog! Or alternatively tell me what your favourite search term is that’s led someone to you.

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2013 on Confuzzledom

I thought it might be fun to take a look at my most-viewed posts and top search terms over the past year. Stats are always fascinating… especially search terms. Here’s what I discovered:

My top 5 posts in 2013*:

  1. I Wouldn’t Thank You for a Valentine. This is always my most popular post, and I suspect most of the people who view it are GCSE pupils looking for help with their coursework. Instead they get my ramblings on Valentine’s Day. Maybe that will teach them to do their own work in future! This post got 444* views this year… what a great number!
  2. Primark comes to Karlsruhe. Still going strong after more than a year! This post has had 242 views for this post since 18 December 2013.
  3. Neighbourhoods Around the World –Karlsruhe. Thanks to Annabelle at the Piri-Piri Lexicon for this link up. This post has gained a whole 162* views since I posted it in October!
  4. Turkey mince and vegetable pasta bake. I had no idea so many people were stuck for ideas on what to do with turkey mince and vegetables!
  5. You know you’re turning German when… I’m glad this one made the top five (even if it was only just) because it’s one of my favourite posts I’ve written. And it’s still sooo true… all of it!
Turkey mince pasta bake
Turkey mince pasta bake

And now my top 5 search terms*. You can see how they match the top posts…

  1. Primark Karlsruhe
  2. I wouldn’t thank you for a valentine/I wouldn’t thank you for a valentine poem
  3. confuzzledom
  4. give me something to do
  5. turkey mince pasta bake

Nothing particularly interesting there… all the good search terms are one offs. But it’s nice to see what brings most visitors to my site. I wonder whether the “Confuzzledom” searchers were actually looking for me or wondering about the word confuzzledom?

And because the above wasn’t particularly interesting, here are five of my favourite search terms that have found me this year (not in order though, because that would be too hard!):

  1. If sneezles were wishes
  2. squishy wiggly
  3. squirter jan jo
  4. I must continue my quest to slay the red light (actually, this may be my favourite search term ever!)
  5. u bearble bitch making me sick
*Statistics as of 18th December when I wrote this post

Over to you… tell me about 2013 on your blog!
~Please note that I am currently still in England and this is a scheduled post. I will reply to any comments as soon as possible~

It seems I’m not the only one that’s excited by Primark…

This is an extract from my blog stats for the last 7 days, specifically from the search engine terms section – it’s an extract because I decided to spare you the remaining 20, which weren’t too interesting, really (other than the one that said “squirter janjab” and I’m not even sure I want to know what that means…):

As you can see (I hope – it’s a little blurry. Try clicking on it for a more readable image), “primark karlsruhe” is well in the lead. I knew I wasn’t the only one who is pleased that Primarni (as it is known in certain circles) has finally arrived in my little corner of Deutschland.

The people searching for “happy no housework day 2013” are getting a little ahead of themselves, I feel. It is still 2012, you know!! Please don’t wish next year on me already. However, I do admit I was intrigued enough to go and look up No Housework Day for myself. It’s on 7 April, apparantly. I had never heard of it, but I may feel the need to join in next year. Not that I’m brilliant at keeping up with my housework at the best of times (as long-time readers know), but on an official day I won’t even have to feel guilty about it 😀
Who’s with me?

Dull women have immaculate homes
(Photo credit: shawnzrossi)

How about some good news?

It seems that my last post struck a cord with people. My stats haven’t shown that many views for a while (35 yesterday in case you were wondering… yes, I’m that popular. *sarcasm mode off*). Anyway, in all the confusion and mixed up feelings I completely forgot to mention my good news… I got the provisional result for my dissertation yesterday (subject to approval by the exam board). I got 70%! For my non-English readers… that’s actually good! Yes, I know it’s 30 whole percent less than 100, but if you bear in mind that you can’t actually get anything about 85% it puts it in perspective. Plus I was only aiming for a pass, which would have been 50%, so I’m happy. The mark becomes official on 5th July.. hopefully it won’t change too much, if at all, then all my marks will be added together and I’ll find out what I’ve got for the whole degree. And at some point in November I’ll finally get my certificate. For now, though, I shall sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that my Master’s is in the bag and I don’t have to do any more assignments… at least until the next time I decide to inflict an OU course on myself. By the way, if anyone was thinking of buying me a gift for my birthday in August, OU vouchers are always appreciated 😉 (I jest, of course. I’m not even going to be in Germany on my birthday this year). Right, I’m off to spend some time with my boyfriend now. I started a ten-finger typing course this morning, which ran from 9 – 12:30 (and it’s every Saturday from now til 24th July. Woe, woe, woe) so the only thing we’ve done together today is weekly food shop. Not much fun. Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone 🙂

I was going to revive question time…

Those of you who’ve been reading for a while may remember question time. Basically I check my blog stats, find the most interesting search engine terms that have led people here then list them in a blog post, complete with my answers/comments. Unfortunately the most interesting searches I’ve had in months are “bee carving” (my first thought was ‘what?!’, closely followed by ‘poor bees!’) and “how to tell who sent you an anonymous valentine” (uh, you don’t. That’s why it’s anonymous). All the rest are even more boring, which does not a good question time make. And so I’m left with… nothing. I can’t even tell you about my weekend because I spent yesterday at work (company anniversary event) and we all know blogging about work can never be good. So instead you get a non-post type post, which I’m only writing because nothing’s happening on Facebook and I need some excuse not to go and mop the kitchen floor…

Let’s write a poem for the postman

It seems somebody found my blog last night by googling  “Thank you poem for the postman”. What a strange thing to want to do. My dad used to be a postman, but I don’t think anyone ever wrote him a poem. Although little old ladies did invite him in for a cup of tea. And I seem to remember him getting the odd card at Christmas.

Anyway, since as far as I know nobody has written a thank you poem for a postman I thought we could give it a go here on Confuzzledom. So here’s the plan… I’ll give you the first few lines then anyone who wants to join in can add to it in the comments box. What? Don’t look at me like that… it might be fun!
Here’s your starting point:

Dear Mister Postman,
Thank you very much
For filling our mailbox with letters and such.

Now over to you. Go!

Doing nothing while January whizzes by

Can you believe January’s more than half over already? Unbelievable! We’re 17 whole days into the new year already and I’ve done exactly… nothing. Hmm. What is it with time going by so fast lately anyway? I’m sure the years were much longer when I was little.

So, it was my dad’s birthday yesterday. He’s the third member of my family to have a birthday this month, and it’s my Grandma’s on the 27th. What is it with members of my family all being born in the same month? Actually, that’s not strictly true, there are more then 4 people in my family. But January is definitely the most crowded (and thus must expensive) month. Plus it comes straight after Christmas when I’ve already spent all my money buying gifts for half the world. Aaah.

Now, could somebody please explain to me what it is with Gordon Ramsey and the Secret Garden? I wrote a post a while ago wondering why Amazon recommended me a Gordon Ramsey cookbook based on the fact that I rated the Secret Garden. (I’m still not getting the whole rating a kid’s book means you must want a recipe book thing, but never mind). Since then I’ve had a few people land on my blog through a Gordon Ramsey/Secret Garden related post, but lately it’s gone mad. Just take a look at this screenshot (hopefully you can read it):
screenshotFor those who are unfamiliar with wordpress, that’s part of the stats page for my blog, specifically the part that tells me what search engine terms have led people to me (it’s also where I find the questions for Question Time). The above list is all from the same day. That’s 14 queries about Gordon Ramsey and the Secret Garden in a mere 24 hours. What is going on?? If anyone has any information please leave a comment. (Yes, I know I could just Google it myself, but quite frankly I can’t be bothered, so just indulge my laziness would ya).
Right, I’m off to make a cuppa. I got a box of Chai tea yesterday that sounds lovely and I haven’t tried it yet. (In case anyone’s interested it’s black tea with what’s described as “Indian spices” – ginger, liquorice, cinnamon, pepper, sweet blackberry leaves, pimento, cardamom and cloves – sounds yummy, no?)