Things I HAVE done before 30

to-do-listAs you may have noticed, I am turning 30 this year (and if you haven’t you’re either new to this blog – in which case Hiii! – or you really don’t pay attention to what you read…). Naturally, this means the people I went to school with are also turning 30, and being almost the youngest in my year, this means most of my old classmates get to go through it before me.

Recently, yet another guy I knew in high school turned 30 (no, I’m not American. The majority of Northumberland still has first, middle and high schools).  This was his Facebook status on the big day (grammar corrected by me, because I couldn’t bring myself to sully my blog with things like “iv” instead of “I’ve” and a complete lack of full stops/capital letters!) :

Thanks so much for the birthday wishes people. I’ve had a class day with *name of his wife* being spoilt. I’ve been thinking about life and all the things I’ve done and achieved and I haven’t done too bad. Danced for my country all over the world, won and competed in some of the biggest competitions in the world, acted in Byker Grove lol, appeared at the Palladium in Oliver and Les Miserables with some of the best actors, done the Royal Variety Show etc etc. I’m only saying this as they are things I’m very proud to have done, but in the 30 years I’ve been here my two biggest achievements are 1- marrying the girl of my dreams and 2- being able to raise and be part of my amazing little girl’s life. I’m a very lucky person 🙂

My first reaction on reading all that was sadness. My heart immediately sank and I thought “why is it always other people that get to feel like that? When will it be my turn to get what I want?”. But one of the things I want to do differently as I attempt to make some changes in my life is to finally learn think positively, so I stopped myself in my tracks and tried to look at things differently. OK, I may not have met anyone famous (let alone acted with them!), been in any international competitions (mostly because I’ve never wanted to) or even done the two things he is most happy about, namely married the love of my life and created a child. But that doesn’t mean my years on this planet have been wasted. I’ve just done different things – and I’m sure there are plenty that other people I went to school with would be jealous of. Still unconvinced, I decided to make a concrete list of all the things I will have experienced and achieved by the time I turn 30 in August. And then, because merely writing something down for myself could never be enough, I naturally decided that I also had to blog about my experiences. There’s something about posting things on my blog that makes them feel that much more real to me (and plus it gives me an excuse to go through all my old photos, which is almost like experiencing the things I’ve done all over again).

And now that the explanation of why I’m doing this is a million miles long, I think I’ll put the actual list in a separate blog post. Or possibly even split it into sections and make a series of it. I’ve already started writing my list on paper (I would be finished if new things didn’t keep occurring to me!) and will be transferring it to the blog soon. Watch this space!

Six months to go!

29 1/2

My 30th birthday is exactly six months today.

Last year, I thought nothing could be worse than 29. After my 29th birthday, I knew that none of the things I would have liked to have done before 30 was happening. Have a baby? Only if I managed to get pregnant within 3 months of my birthday. Even if we’d decided to try the chances of someone who’s been on the pill for 10 years getting pregnant straight away are fairly low. Get married? Sure, if I was willing to forego the whole being engaged part – and the bit where I get to arrange my dream wedding – and elope or something. 29, as far as I was concerned, was already too late (I know, how stupid, right? No lectures please! But that’s how I felt.). So 30 shouldn’t be too much of a shock to the system. After all, by the time the big birthday came around I’d have had a year to get used to the fact that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. After 29, 30 was going to be a piece of cake (mmm, cake!).


Six months on, it appears I was wrong. I still want to bury my head in the sand and pretend my next birthday is never, ever going to come. I still find myself comparing my life to everyone else’s and wondering what, exactly, I’ll have to show for myself once I hit 30. No kids, no husband, no PhD (just a Master’s, which anyone can get), no amazing career. I don’t even own a house (unlike my younger sister – there I go comparing again!) Okay, I moved to Germany, but I came to be with my boyfriend – a built in support network. And I studied German. Not nearly as impressive as dropping everything to move to South Korea without knowing the language first, or emigrating to Australia alone. In fact, I’ve never even been to either of those places. Most of my travel has been within Europe. For holidays – not real, life changing travel. And I still live close enough to my family to be able to run away back home if necessary. As for a career, while I love my job, dedicating my whole life to a career is the last thing I want!

So, six months away from my 30th birthday, I still have no idea what I want to do and feel like I’ve achieved very little. Please tell me this is just a symptom of reaching that milestone and things do get better?

On the plus side, I’m up to 12 in my list of 30 German Towns Before 30, so the remaining 18 should be achievable. I just need to finally get round to blogging about those I actually have been to…