No more staying up late and living on cake

I am terrible at being on my own. Absolutley terrible.
For a start there’s the whole making meals just for me thing. I walk into the kitchen, examine the food on the shelves, open the fridge, close it again and think about how long it takes to peel potatoes/slice carrots/chop an onions. Then my mind drifts to all the dishes that will have to be used to make a proper meal. Dishes that will then have to be washed up afterwards. By me. And I decide there’s no point in going to all that effort when nobody else is around to eat the food I prepare. And so, in the 5 days since Jan went away, I have been living on potato croquettes (just shove them in the oven and wait!), chocolate raisins, cake (not even home made cake I’m ashamed to say) and those Knorr instant thingies that claim to turn into pasta in cheese sauce or spaghetti bolognese as soon as you add boiling water.

Then there’s the sleeping thing. I’m used to sharing a bed with Jan. He’s here almost every night. When he’s not at mine I sometimes join him at his. On the nights that he’s at his place and I’m at mine I have trouble sleeping. The bed seems to magically grow… surely it hasn’t always been that big? The room feels colder, the flat emptier (actually that last one kind of makes sense. The flat is emptier…I’m the only person in it). But it’s okay, because usually it’s only for one night. When he goes away though, it’s not just for one night, but for a couple of days, a weekend, an entire week…
Which is why, since Wednesday, I haven’t made it to bed before midnight once. And even after getting into bed I’ve chosen reading until 1 or 2 am over going to sleep.

All that has to chnge now though. I start my new job tomorrow. That means getting up early enough to be showered, dressed, breakfasted and on the train that leaves Karlsruhe at 7:30 am. It also means eating a proper breakfast so I’m not starving by 9 o’clock. And it means preparing something proper to eat for my lunch.

I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be a real, employed member of society again!

The day Bev missed the tram

I left work at 25 past 5 today. My tram leaves at 22 minutes past. So I had resigned myself to waiting 20 minutes in the dark for the next one. But then I saw it… a tram. Apparantly mine was 3 minutes late. So I started to run… up the little hill, round the fence, onto the path that leads towards the stop… and then it left. I almost cried. Then I stood around in the cold and the dark waiting for the next tram. That’s 20 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. I couldn’t even read my book – cos y’know, it was dark. Yes, I realise I mentioned that already. It’s important, ok. *Sigh* At least nobody can say I was sitting around all afternoon waiting for it to be home time.

I have to go and make some food now. Tea for me, myself and I. The boyfriend is not coming over tonight.
Do you know what the worst thing is about having to cook alone? Nobody to help with the dishes…