Resolution Recap

It’s almost June already. How the heck did that happen? Surely it was only just January?
Anyway… since we are now nearing the sixth month of the year I thought it would be a good idea to dig out my new year’s resolutions and let you all know how I’m doing with them. Goodness knows why I though this was a good idea… perhaps I just like torturing myself?

Soo, resolution number 1 was to try and improve my relationship… to be a better girlfriend and try to make my boyfriend happy (God, remind me why I chose to make the hardest one number one?). I also said that I was going to give it a year, and if my relationship still wasn’t going anywhere I would leave – walk away and let Jan figure out exactly what it is he wants. Much as I would hate to do that, at the time it seemed like the most sensible solution.
Well… if this were a school report the verdict on that one would be “could try harder”. I have managed to be a little nicer… at least intermittently. And as long as I have access to the internet we seem to be arguing less. We’ve also managed to have the occasional talk about things without Jan either going silent or changing the subject and me either crying or shouting, neither of which has the desired effect. OK, so we’ve only managed that about twice, but that’s still two more times than zero. And I still have the rest of the year to work on this…

Number 2 was to become better at work. This mostly involved becoming more emotionally intelligent, less socially incompetent and a good project manager.
The least said on this one the better (mostly because I don’t like to say too much about work on here just in case). I do still have a job though, which is something. And I seem to have got better at pretending not to be utterly terrified when phoning customers. Now I suppose I just have to work on not being utterly terrified.

Number 3. Stop procrastinating. Don’t leave university assignments til the last minute. Actually do the reading that’s set for each week.
I have now actually handed in the assignments for my last two modules, so this one isn’t relevant any more (unless I fail text lingusitics, in which case it will become horribly relevant again soon). But with those two assignments I did exactly what I told myself I wasn’t going to do… left them til the last minute, rushed to buy some books in a complete panic and just about managed to get them finished in time for the hand in date. I think we can write that one off as a big fat FAIL! And next year is thesis time. I already have my suspicions about how that’s going to turn out…

The fourth and final resolution was to get out more and meet up with actual rela live people instead of socialising entirely through my blog and facebook.
I don’t think I really need to tell you how this one is going. I mean, you lot read my blog, right? How many times have you seen me mention a night out or a meeting with friends? My point exactly… (Although I did meet up with a friend on Friday night. She moved to the Netherlands 5 months ago and I hadn’t seen her since so of course I made the effort. And I went to the Maifest at my old student residence. But other than that not much socialising going on over here… especially since my flat became connected to the internet).

Well, that’s the lot. Now you tell me how you’ve been getting on with your resolutions. Only if you’ve failed miserably though… you wouldn’t want to depress me now, would you? 😉


Starting afresh

New year, new start. I’ve been saying those words at the beginning of January for years now. And every year all my good intentions last until about mid-March, then I find myself turning back into the same old me, returning to the same old routine of promising myself that I will make things better, right after I finish this game of Mai Jongg, and get to the end of that book and put this stack of old photos that I’ve just discovered into an album… Hopefully this year will be different.

So, resolutions. They have already been made, the boyfriend has been informed of them. Now all that remains is to set them down in black and white (well white on black really) in my blog. Because only once the whole world knows what I’m planning can it really be official, right? So…

Number 1. Last year I promised I was going to be a better girlfriend. It worked, for maybe a month. Then instead of moving on my relationship seemed to take a step backwards when Jan moved out. No, no. Not like that. We were never actually living together. Both of us just had rooms in the same student residence. Then Jan completed his degree,started working towards his doctorate and decided the time had come to get a flat. With a friend of his. He lated admitted that maybe, just maybe, asking me to move in with him might have been a better idea. But he also admitted later in the year that, although he loves me, I don’t make him happy and he’s not really sure what he wants. So this year’s resolution is to improve my relationship, to try to be a better girlfriend and to make my boyfriend happy. I also told Jan that if we’re still not going anywhere by this time next year, if he’s still not exactly happy with me but unwilling to make any decisions to imporve the situation I will go away and leave him alone, give him the chance to find someone who can make him happy. That is my most important resolution – to try for one more year to improve my relationship, and if I don’t succeed, to admit defeat.

Number 2 in the list of resolutions is to become better at work. I may not even have a job any more after this month. If that happens I’ll just have to try and improve myself at the next place, wherever that may be. This year I want to learn to work better in a team. I want to become emotionally intelligent, socially competent, organised, a good project manager. The kind of person bosses like to have working for them.

Resolution number 3 is to procrastinate less. To stop leaving my university assignments until the last minute. To actually do the reading that’s set for each week. I only have to keep this one up until the end of March when my last assignment for the year is due in. Surely even I can manage to stick to a resolution for 3 little months.

And finally, number 4 is to get out more. Between working full time and studying part time it’s pretty difficult to make room for a social life, plus I’m tired so much of the time that it seems easier to live my life virtually, via the blogosphere and facebook, but even I realise there’s more to life than this virtual reality, so this year I’m going to make more time to meet up with actual real live people, and not just on special occasions either.

So there we have it. Four resolutions. Now everyone please send lots of positive energy and willpower my way. I have a feeling I’m going to need it…