Hundreds and thousands

Apparantly, this is my 1,000th published post on this here little blog. That’s what WordPress says, anyway, and since I have no intention of going back and counting them all I shall just have to take its word for it. When I saw that I was approaching the 1,000 mark, I decided I would need to celebrate this accomplishment with a search terms post… because how else does one celebrate blogging milestones? Sadly, most of the search terms that are actually making it through these days aren’t all that interesting (you don’t fool me Google… I know it’s all the best ones that you’re keeping to yourself!) and some days not many get through at all. Recently, I had 16 search terms and every last one of them was unknown! And now all you popular bloggers are thinking “16? In a whole day? I get more search terms than that in 5 minutes!”. Well, my corner of the Internet is still only little… yes, I’m one of those small fry that gets excited when I manage to get over 75 views in a single day, so 16 referrals from search terms ain’t too shabby 😉 Aaah, who am I kidding. No popular bloggers would ever find their way to my little spot. Hmm, I think it’s time I threw away my spade and attempted to climb out of this hole I appear to be digging myself into…
Errm where was I? Oh, yes. Search terms! Here’s the pick of a very small bunch for you.

Bless the confuzzled sheep

Yes, bless it, and it’s little cotton socks too! (Between this and previous sheep-related search terms, I’m starting to think I should make a sheep my blog’s mascot…)

Girl xxx a horse

I don’t know what the xxx is trying to hide, but I know enough to be sure you’re not going to find it on my blog. Perv!

I cry because I wet myself

I’m so sorry. Have you tried consulting a doctor?

mmm stinky foot

Please take your foot fetish and leave my blog!

xxxgirl clock theme

What’s with all the x’s?

photo of appendix with lots of pooh

Eeeew. Just no, okay?

bevchen sparkles

Only when I’ve been playing with glitter…

you are confuzzled girl!

Wait, how did you know? Can you see me?
Also, I can’t help but hear this search term in Whoopi Goldberg’s voice… you know that scene in Ghost where she says “Molly, you in danger girl!”? This search term totally reminds me of that, and I have no idea why.

so the German word for table is Tisch

Yes. Your point?

giant sausage expat

Yes, Germany is the land of giant sausages. Get over it already 😉

That’s all I’ve got for you today, but two other bloggers recently celebrated blogging milestones with search term posts and they got some hilarious ones. Go check out Expat Eye on Latvia and Aussa Lorens for more fun with search terms.

Friday letters… and some links

It’s Friday again! The weeks always seem to drag by while they’re actually happening, but looking back it feels like no time has passed since the last time it was Friday. I haven’t been doing much this week, so along with my letters I’ve decided to include some links for you to have a look at… otherwise this would have ended up being a very short and very boring post.

Eye'm watching you...

Dear Rossmann employee. I’m not entirely sure why you gave me a free bottle of shower gel when I went to pay the other day, but thanks. (I just hope it wasn’t a hint… did the cheesy feet smell rub off on me?!)

Dear clotted cream. The fact that I discovered you in Karstadt the other day is clearly a hint that I need to make scones this weekend. Home-made afternoon tea here I come!

Dear January. I’m not sure what happened to you this year… it seem like I’ve just given up on you. Since we got back from Madeira, I’ve done basically nothing. No trips, no events. Now I’ve finished writing up our holiday, I’ve no idea how I’m even going to think of posts for my blog! And so much for my “travel more” resolution. Here’s hoping February is more interesting…

Now for some links…

Happy Friday everyone! Have a fabulous weekend.

Linkies {Filler post}

Oh, hi there!
Apologies forthe radio silence over the past couple of days… I’ve been given a big translation job at work which will keep me busy right up until we close for Christmas and actually means I need to do overtime for the next two weeks for there to be any chance of meeting the deadline. The result of this is a) I’m notdoing anything worth posting about and b) I have neither the time nor energy to think of other things to post about. I can’t even do a recipe post for you because I’m cooking while doing other things, so it’s just a case of chucking a few ingredients in a pan then running from the room to get on with sorting washing/writing Christmas cards/doing more work. No time to take food photos! Soooo, to tide you over for the time being, here are a few links to things that have caght my interest lately:

That’s all for today. I hope I’ll be back with a real post soon! In the mean time feel free to share any interesting links of your own in the comments box…

Quick, before the blackout arrives…

Those of you who like to keep an eye on your blog’s statistics – and especially on your search terms – may have noticed that the number of terms actually getting through are becoming fewer and fewer. Instead, we are left with the ominous sounding “unknown search term”. This is because Google have started to encrypt most of their search terms, so instead of letting websites know what people were actually lookin for when they found then, Google now simply says “This Internet user found you via us but we’re not telling you how. ner ner ne ner ner” Here’s an example from my stats on a typical day. Note the ratio of actual search terms to the oh so useful “unknowns”:

search terms

Obviously there was only one thing to be done… I had to write another search terms post while there are still some there to write about! (By the way, searches via Bing and Yahoo apparantly still get through… but who actual searches using either of them?!)

Here are some of the best search terms that have found me over the past 30 days. Slim pickings I’m afraid… I suspect Google is keeping all the good ones to itself!

Naked at our age

Scandalous!

WordPress “a rubbish experience”

If you’re talking about the new reader I wholeheartedly agree!

What does Aldi bucks fizz taste like?

Like any other Buck’s Fizz I should imagine. It’s orange juice and sparking wine pre-mixed, in a bottle. How spectacular can it possibly taste?!

What’s worse than sheep?

What could possibly be worse than this guy?
What could possibly be worse than this guy?

I can think of a few things. Killer scorpions perhaps. Or giant spiders…

How to dress Germany

First of all, you’re going to need a lot of fabric…

How to know you’re turning German

I thought you’d never ask! Check out my post, you know you’re turning German when…

A green banana cross stitch

Nope, sorry. The best I can offer you is a bunny dressed in green sitting in the moon.

Deutsche Bahn punctuality.

Hahahahaha! Errmm.. I mean.. yes, of course. Deutsche Bahn is always punctual. (Except on days with a y in them, that is…)

What do you need to make upside gingerbread men?

1. Gingerbread men. 2. Hands to turn them upside down…

That’s it I’m afraid. Not too exciting, really. Google is already spoiling my fun!

A “sweet” workout

*I know I’ve already posted once today, but I want to get this out there before I forget it…*

Leaving work this evening, I passed two students, a male and a female, who were presumably discussing the activity they had just come from. For some reason, they kept inserting random English words where a perfectly good German one would have worked. Here’s the conversation I overheard. The words marked in blue are what they actually said in English.

Girl: We just did a 45 minute hard workout!
Boy: Hard? You mean like situps and stuff?
Girl: No… he made us do crunchies!

At that point, I had to physically bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud.
For those who are unfamiliar with English chocolate bars, this is a Crunchie:

Photograph of a Crunchie bar made by Cadbury, ...
Cadbury’s Crunchie, showing its honeycomb toffee structure. (Photo: Wikipedia)

Sounds like my kind of workout! 😉

Where is Confuzzledom? And other search terms.

Between getting my wisdom teeth out and working long hours to get things done, I haven’t really been doing a lot lately, so I thought it was time for another search term round up. Here are some of my favourite searches that have found my little corner of the Internet over the last 30 days…

Signs you haven’t slept

I’d have thought the whole not actually going to sleep thing would be the biggest clue…

As we snogged I wet myself

What? Why does this find my blog? I promise I have never done this! (Although I did wet myself in the playground once in primary school…)

Fabric Scarf Holder
Fabric Scarf Holder (Photo credit: brixton)

How to dress like a German woman

Step one is to purchase lots of scarves, and wear them all year round. For more, ask Kaitlin at The Diary of Sugar and Spice, she knows…

Where is confuzzledom?

Second star to the right and straight on til morning. No, wait. That’s Neverland…

Which has been around longest, Wotsits or Monster Munch?

I have no idea, but now I want a packet of Wotsits. Curse you, anonymous searcher!

Horse bum game

I don’t want to know…

The only horse to ever feature on my blog...
The only horse to ever feature on my blog…

Girl is a horse

Charlie… what have you done to my blog?

I want you tonight

Well you can’t have me!

sokak wc mature izle

What does that even mean?

Curried toad in the hole

Is that an actual thing? Because if not it NEEDS to become one!! Sounds awesome…

For more search term fun, check out these previous posts:

Flying penguins and other search terms

Search term Sunday

“There are worse things than being a sheep”

All around the Internet

I don’t really have anything to say today, so have some links from around the web instead:

And finally, a video. The translators among you will appreciate this the most, but everyone should check it out. Make sure to watch it all the way to the end!

What am I stitching? Part 4

Finally… the moment I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for 😉 The next installment of “What am I stitching?”.
But first, a look at the guesses from last time.

Here’s the picture I gave you:

cross stitch 3

And here are your responses:

Lady of the Cakes said “WT..?! It appears to be some ghoulish green creature with a bow in its hair making a BOMB!!!!!” And if I now get lots of people coming to my blog looking for instructions on bomb making I know who to blame 😉

Elaine from I Used to be Indecisive guessed that the picture is one big teddy, sitting.

Alex from Ifs, Ands & Butts thought it might be a little girl knitting.

Linda of Expat Eye on Latvia suggested “Maybe a chicken? But a KFC genetically-modified one so it can’t lift its arse off the ground.” If KFC chickens are green, I’m not sure I want to eat there any more…

Tina in Germany‘s idea was someone playing an instrument on the moon… like a violin or something. Or else a leprechaun sliding down a banana.

And finally, Gina 4 Star decided to go with “a slim French (purely based on the green beret) cradling a baby by candlelight

Jan wouldn’t give me a proper guess this time, claiming it looked like nothing much – although he did say “whatever it is, it has a green bow on its head.”

So, there you have it. Some interesting guesses. And far fewer bananas this time!

While I was in England, I worked on my cross stitch every minute that I could and managed to add quite a bit more to the picture. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Cross stitch 4

Now, ready, set… guess!

What am I stitching? Part 3

I couldn’t possibly go away for a week and leave you without a single post, could I? Since it’s exactly a week since I last had you try and guess what I’m currently cross stitching, I decided to take the easy route for this one and give you part 3.

Last week, I gave you this photo to base your guesses on:

What am I going to be?
What am I going to be?

Here are the answers:

Lady of the Cakes was unwilling to commit herself too much, but she did spot a little grey cloud of doom on the picture!
Elaine from I Used to be Indecisive thought it might be a green teddy bear sitting astride an ‘arm’ of a star.
Thoughtsy had a few ideas: An angel on a moon…or a banana. Maybe a little kid sleeping on the moon…or a banana.
Janey of Is That You Darling? initially wanted to suggest a canary, but decided the yellow thing probably is a moon after all.
Linda of Expat Eye on Latvia came up with the hilarious suggestion of a leprechaun with an egg-shaped head, kicking his heels together as he dances a jig in his green booties. For some reason I can’t explain, a banana is throwing up a little in the background. I almost wish it was that!
Gina4Star‘s answer was “a banana boat in the (green) sea?! Or more topically, I think it might be an angel.
Someone calling themselves JJ asked “Is it a baby climbing a banana?“. I can neither confirm nor deny that at this point, JJ.
Elaine from I Used to be Indecisive then returned with another guess: A dragon!
Then JP, aka Pining Liwasan, came up with this: “A hungry bear eating a loaf of bread, resting his back on something“, the something being either a moon or a yellow tree trunk.
And finally, I asked Jan what it looked like to him, and his response was “A woman dancing“. The grey thing is her hat, she’s rather well endowed, and the yellow is a spotlight shining on her.

Lots of fun guesses… and lots of bananas! Let’s see what you all come up with for this week’s picture:

Is it becoming clearer?... Or more difficult?
Does this make things any easier? 😉

Also, Lady of the Cakes asked whether there would be a prize. So, I’m thinking German chocolate. The only question now is does the first person to guess (or come close to) the right answer win, or do I send the goodies to whoever’s answer I like best? Decisions, decisions…

Stamp of Approval Saturday: How to annoy a Brit

Image © letsip.com
Image © letsip.com

As you read this, I am not actually on WordPress, but out sampling the delights of Dublin. But I couldn’t possible wait a whole two weeks to share this with you, so by the powers of scheduled posting, I bring you my contribution to Stamp of Approval Saturday with Ifs, Ands & Butts (Since I’m not actually here, I’m hoping the lovely Alex will add me to the link up ;-))

An American friend posted this on Facebook the other day and, being a curious type, I couldn’t help but click on it. What I saw had me alternately nodding in agreement and laughing like crazy. What am I talking about, you ask?
Why, the 17 best ways to annoy a British person, of course.

Numbers 12 and 16 are my favourites.

Made any amazing Internet finds this week? Then join in with Stamp of Approval Saturday over at Ifs, Ands & Butts!  (I’m just assuming it’s taking place this week… like I said, I’m not actually here).