Return of the moth-beasts

When I moved out of the student residence I thought my days of battling with food moths were over. Apparantly I thought wrong.

A couple of weeks ago I saw an evil moth-beast flying around my flat. I had seen a moth flying out of my clothes cupboard a few weeks before that and taken the appropriate measures (hence my flat smelling of lavendar all the time now) and this one was kind of hovering between where the clothes live and where the food is kept (it’s a very small flat) so I couldn’t decide which kind of moth it was. But I chased it with a rolled up magazine anyway and managed to squish it to death somewhere in the living room. I was hoping it was just a stray but alas it was not to be. Since then I have seen three more moths and established that they are, in fact, food moths. Again. The third one was discovered today and killed by the boyfriend who squished it against the cupboard with his bare hand. I still feel faintly sick now and this happened half an hour ago. So now I want to throw out every item of food that a moth could possibly find in any way interesting. The boyfriend says I’m “exaggerating to my own disadvantage” (and is now mad at me becasue of it) but the alternative would be to actually look inside all the packages to see whether any moths have made their nests in there. No, no, no! I will not do it! The thought of a moth flying out at me from inside my cereal box is just too terrifying.

Unemployment, moths… could this week get any worse?


(WARNING: This entry is going to be a  long one!)

There was a mosquito in my room last night.

I had turned out the light and was snuggling down to get some well earned rest when I heard that distinctive mosquito noise next to my ear. Bloody things can’t just buzz like normal insects. No, it was that horrible high-pitched squeeee. Pathetic I know, but that sound terrifies me. I instantly sat up, one hand flailing around my ears in an attempt to get it away from me, and switched on the light. No way was I going to sleep with that thing in the room. And thus began the great mosquito hunt of 2008.

tasting blood
Tasting blood (Photo credit: Vilseskogen)

Unlike my boyfriend I can’t just squish insects with the palm of my hand (it’s disgusting! And what if it manages to get me while I’m trying to get it?), so the first thing to do was find a suitable mosquito squashing implement. A paper plate left over from my birthday picnic seemed perfect. Then came stage 2 – finding the stupid creature. Suprisingly, it didn’t take long. There it was above my bed. Lurking. Waiting for me to turn the light back out so it could squeeee it’s way past my ear again. Psychological warfare, that’s what it is! Well I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, was I? BANG went my paper plate on the wall. Naturally I missed. I always miss. So off I went again to find out where his evilness had hidden himself this time. It wasn’t so easy second time round, but after turning on the big light and pacing the room twice I spotted him on the wardrobe door. BANG! “Where is he? Did I get him?” Mr Mosquito was nowhere to be seen, but neither were any mosquito remains. Time for another patrol of the bedroom. After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching I decided to hope I’d managed to get him and return to bed.

Of course the evil git wasn’t dead was he. No, he was just hiding… waiting for the right moment.
As soon as I’d got snuggled up nice and cozy and was starting to doze off the high-pitched squeeee came again, right next to my ear. Aaarggh! This time my first reaction was to hide my head under the quilt. Then after a few minutes I slowly crept out, turned the light back on and reached for my paper plate. The bloody thing was nowhere to be found! I walked up and down the room, peered into corners… I even walked up and down on the bed to try and get a different perspective on things. No mosquito. By this time it was 20 to 1. Less than 6 hours til I had to get up for work. I went and lay down on the bed, this time keeping the light on and my eyes open, then when I was so sleepy my eyes were starting to close I switched off the light. I actually managed to get to sleep, for a while. Then I was woken up by shouting from the bar. Yes people it was bar night again. Sigh. And shortly after that… squeeee. Aaarggh!! Again I couldn’t find the bloody thing anywhere. After 20 minutes of searching I finally gave up and went to bed. The good news is that was the last squeeee of the night. The bad news is that the people in the bar chose that moment to turn the music up reeeally loud. It was after 4am when I was finally able to get some sleep. And I had to be up at 6:30. Wonderful.

If the bloody mosquitos would only wait til I was asleep before coming out it would be fine. Sure, they’d bite me and it would itch in the morning, but that would only be annoying. It’s not like I live in a country where I’m likely to get malaria. But that high-pitched squeeee just can’t be ignored.

One good thing about autumn being on its way… soon all the mosquitos will be dead and my room will be all mine again!

Under attack!

For many years there were only two types of moth in my world. The big scary ones that like to attack unsuspecting people who dare to have the light on and the window open at the same time and those (presumably quite small) ones that like to eat clothes and are the reason people in old books smell of moth balls. Nobody in modern books ever seems to use moth balls, and I’ve never met anyone in real life who does either. Have clothes moths become extinct maybe? Or does everything we wear have built in moth protection these days? … Anyway, as I was saying… two types of moth…. Well, here in Germany I’ve discovered a new kind of moth. This kind lives wherever food is stored and likes to attack dry foods, like flour, sugar, rice… If you come into the kitchen to find your rice all stuck together and something that looks slightly like cobwebs around the top of the box you’ve probably got food moths. Either that or a spider has decided to make its home in your cupboard. The only solution to food moths is to keep anything that might attract them in moth proof containers. Tupperware tubs are good for this. Washed out icecream tubs work too.

My floor is currently infested with these moths. No idea where they’re coming from, but they’re there. So last night I went into my kitchen in search of food. I opened the cupboard and whoosh – two little moths came flying towards my cupboard at the speed of light. Aarrggh! Instantly going into panic mode, I slammed the cupboard door and ran to the middle of the kitchen where they couldn’t get me. The idea of a moth, even a little food one, touching me is terrifying! Miraculously I had actually managed to shut the cupboard door in time, so instead of going in the moths were hovering round the door, probably making plans to creep in through some tiny gap next to the hinges while I wasn’t looking. Well, I wasn’t going to let them do that, was I? So I grabbed a newspaper from the table and went on a moth killing spree. WHACK! Take that you evil, scary creature! BASH! Get away from my foooood! WALLOP! Die beast, die!

And now every time I look in my cupboard I expect to see Moths 2 – The Revenge. That’s the one where all the friends and relatives of the moths I killed try to avenge their deaths by invading my cupboard and flying out at me in huge clouds next time I go to make food. *Shudder* I’m doooomed. Doooomed I tell you, doooooooomed!

‘Tis the season to get bitten

It’s that time of year again when all the creepy blood-sucking insects come out to play, and as usual I seem to be some kind of bite magnet. The first attack was on Saturday night. I felt a weird itching sensation and looked down to find some evil flying thing sitting on my hand. I could actually see it sticking it’s sucky thing into me. Eeew! Then yesterday I got home from the football to find a big red lump on my foot. The insects had struck again! It’s right at the end of my foot, just where the toes join on, which makes wearing shoes a lot of fun. Finally, at work today, I discovered a third bite. On the back of my knee. It’s been annoying me since 2 o’clock this afternoon.
What is it with insects always going for me? Have I got extra tasty blood or something?? I’m not even sure what the worst part of being bitten is – the annoying itchiness it causes or the fact that some dirty, disgusting bug that could have been anywhere was on me, sucking out my blood. Urgh!

If anyone has any tips on how to stop insects from munching on you without resorting to one of those incredibly smelly insect repellent creams then please send them this way! Tips to stop the bites I’ve already got from itching would be much appreciated as well…