Mid-week confessions

This is actually kind of a filler post because I just do not have time for the one I actually want to write. It involves uploading photos, and we all know how long that takes. I’ve seen similar posts to this on various blogs (here’s one by Unlocking Kiki), and now it’s my turn. So, without further ado, I confess…

  • I don’t always wash my hair when I should. Washing (and blow drying) my hair takes time, and sometimes staying in bed for just that little bit longer wins. I only do this when my hair is at the stage where it feels horrible but still looks okay, and so far nobody’s said anything so it seems to be working out okay 😉
  • I am terrible at housework. Okay, this is nothing new to long-term readers of my blog. I even have a “world’s worst housewife” tag. My shower has needed cleaning for weeks, but I keep putting it off, I almost never wash the dishes the same evening I cook with them (in fact, if I don’t need last night’s dishes the next day I will sometimes even leave them for another night) and the windows of our flat haven’t been washed once since we moved in. I do hoover regularly and keep on top of the laundry though, it’s just anything that involves my hands touching cleaning substances that I don’t like…
  • I almost never manage to eat five portions of fruit and veg a day. In fact, yesterday I think I managed half a portion (I ate a clementine at lunch time , but you need two for a “serving”). Now the papers are reporting that we may actually need to eat seven servings a day. I am doomed. Dooooooomed I tell you!
  • Last week, I bought mini chocolate eggs with the intention of sending them to a friend for Easter, but I forgot how late Easter was and having them sitting around was just too tempting, so I ate them.
  • I haven’t really exercised since before I went to England over a month ago. I did some sit ups once when I was feeling particularly guilty about all the crap I’d eaten that day, but that’s all. Really need to get back into it… what the scales (and measuring tape) are showing me are not pretty.
  • I LOVE Cheddar cheese, the the extent that I will actually break chunks off and eat it by itself. I could never become vegan purely because of Cheddar cheese!

OK, that’s it. I need to get back to work now (after the shortest lunch break ever!) I have so much to do. Seriously, the only thing that’s getting me through this week is the thought of the overtime that I can take off some time when it’s a litle less crazy! How long til the next public holiday?!

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Not much is so much more than nothing

Thank you all for your replies to my last post. Especially Hails, who is so much more eloquent than me, and hit the nail right on the head. You said exactly what I was trying to, in less words and without sounding bitter/whiney/insert other adjective here.

Apologies for the lack of individual replies. Despite having a four-day weekend (thank you Easter!) I failed to find the time to return to my blog. And now another week has gone by, it’s Friday again and I still haven’t found the time to reply to your comments, or to catch up on all the blogs I actually do want to read, or even to do the dishes. Although, perhaps that’s not strictly true. There are four hours between when I arrive back in Karlsruhe after work and the time I go to bed, and to be honest I have no idea what I do withhose hours. Yes, I have to do the shopping and cook the tea, but surely those things don’t take up 4 whole hours? And so my life moves on, with week days spent at work, and the evenings being used to get nothing done, and the weekend being the time for catching up on the housework and the washing and all the other things that have been on my to-do list since the previous weekend. And suddenly another week has gone by. The next time I look up it’s a month. I’m afraid if I blink too often it will be Christmas! Surely there must be more to life than this? Work, work, work then rush to catch up on the cleaning.

The other day a Facebook friend (a relative, actually) was complaining that she’s going to be turning 29 soon. I wanted to write back “Yes, but you’re almost 29 with a husband and a daughter”. I’m almost 28 and presumably never going to be a wife or mother. Other people my age have been travelled. There was a phase a couple of years ago where everyone was off on “world trips”. Australia, New Zealand, Thailand… all the exotic far away places. My sister went to South Africa for six months, met a guy out there who then moved to England and became a British citizen for her. I only made it as far as Germany. While other people are either settling down or enjoying their freedom, I’m busy just existing. But then I look at some of the people I went to school with. Still living in the small town where they were born, with two or three kids, living only for the weekend when they can find a babysitter and go and get drunk again. And I think maybe I have achieved something after all. Germany is further than nowhere. I have a job I love and that I’m actually good at. That’s something to be proud of. And then I feel guilty because I have so much. So why can’t it just be enough? What will it take for me to accept that I can’t have everything I want? (And we’re back to self pity, which is just one of the many things about me that I really need to change. Get over yourself Bev!!!)

(Title of this post shamelessly stolen from the Tina Dico song One, because it fit so well.)

Blogging fail

I know I promised to blog more after I received my prolific blogger award, and I’ve been meaning to post for nearly two weeks, but as you can tell I’ve failed utterly miserably. I just don’t have time to blog. Between all the overtime I’ve been doing lately (so many big jobs, so little time), the course I’m doing on Saturday mornings (10 finger typing course, bot interesting enough to write about) and all the usual cooking, attempting to spend time with my boyfriend and occasionally actually cleaning the flat, my poor blog just hasn’t had a chance. Sigh.

Soo, I’ve just found out a girl I used to be pretty good friends with, and whose family are friends of my family, is pregnant. Another one to add to the list. Currently I only know three people who are expecting, the fewest it’s been for a while. And another friend got married last week (an ex-boyfriend as it happens), which necessiated the sending of a gift to England. All these babies and weddings are going to bankrupt me! Baby clothes are so cute though, and it’s not like I’m going to be able to buy any for a child of my own for a while… or possibly ever, so there is a silver lining I suppose.

I had a meeting at work today. The bosses are happy with my work, I was expressly thanked for putting in overtime last week and I got a positive response from a customer the other day (usually we only get feedback when someone wants to complain, so it was a nice surprise). So all is good on the unemployment front. And in 23 days I’m off on my holidays. Good times 🙂 The only cloud on the horizon is that Jan is away this weekend with his choir, and I’ve barely seen him all week as it is. It’s only a small cloud though, and we’ll have plenty of time to make up for it once our holidays start. The countdown starts now…

Remind me why I’m doing this

So far I’ve written just over 2,000 words which I may or may not actually end up being able to use in my dissertation. I need 15,000 words, or 13,500 at the very least if I make use of the “you can be 10% over or under” rule. Then there’s the literature review which I haven’t even started, or indeed thought about, yet.  And the deadline is 11th May – which means I have to get it finished before that because it needs to be printed, bound and sent to England. To say that I’m panicking would be an understatement. Unfortunately panicking doesn’t give me any more of a clue what I need to write, or give me any extra time to do any writing. What I really need is a clone. Preferably a clone whose brain works better than mine (I wonder… does an improved version of myself still count as a clone?). The clone can write the dissertation and I’ll go to work, do the housework and continue to look for flats for the boyfriend and I. Sounds like a plan, no?

Can someone please remind me why I wanted to do a Master’s?

… and it still isn’t Christmas

Does anyone else feel like “the season” has been going on forever? The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of buying and wrapping presents, trips to the post office (the last of my parcels to England finally went out last week), parties and Christmas markets. And in between all that I’ve had to do the assessment for my science course (a last minute job which I’m dreading getting the result for), work and keep on top the mundane every day things like cleaning the flat and making sure we have actual food to eat. The upside is that I now have lots to tell my blog. Unfortunately I still don’t have any time, so it’s going to have to be another boring bullet point list. Sorry about that…

  • I want to Mainz last Saturday with my ex-colleagues. I had never been to Mainz before. We went to the Christmas market, where the Glühwein was much cheaper than everywhere else I’ve been. Mainz is a bit of a strange town. It’s really pretty around the market square then you walk into the shopping street and it’s all horrible grey concrete buildings and huge glass monstrosities. The Christmas market was nice though.
  • It’s been snowing here on and off for the past few days. This is worth mentioning because it’s so unusual. Not that Karlsruhe never gets snow, but the little bit that does come is not usually this early. It’s also freezing. Yesterday it was -12°C! I had to go out in it to buy stuff for a Christmas party I hosted last night. It was so bad that I actually got on the tram to go one stop, which I usually think is a waste of time.
  • I had a progress meeting at work last week. There are a few things I’ve been asked to work on, but the verdict was generally positive (and no mention was made of my social skills… or lack thereof. There is something to be learned from this I’m sure…)
  • Last week we went to both my work Christmas meal (at an Italian restaurant) and Jan’s work Christmas party. Mine was more fun, although we missed the last train home and ended up having to wait until 1:06am for a train that would take us to Bruchsal, where we had to change onto an S-Bahn. I also had to work the next day. Tired is not the word…
  • I received a parcel last week, from the lovely Katyboo. It contained a Christmas card and a book – The Children of Green Knowe. Unexpected and very nice – I’ve been wanting to read that book for ages! 🙂
  • On Friday I went to the Christmas market in Mannheim with my colleagues. It was nice but so cold that we only stayed long enough to have something to eat and drink one Glühwein. I was back in Karlsruhe by 9pm!
  • Two more days at work then I’m off for Christmas. We’re staying in Germany this year (at Jan’s dad’s place) then going to Italy to visit his sister for New Year. Exciting stuff.

And now I have to go and do something about my flat, which is still suffering from the after effects of a Christmas party. It may take some time…