On a desert island in December

Well, I’m still ill, although my voice had come back slightly this morning. I still can’t stop coughing though. *sigh*
But this post isn’t meant to be another moany pity-me one. Instead I’m finally going to get round to doing that meme I’ve been going on about for days.

So, I was tagged by Katyboo and the meme is based on Desert island Discs.
For those that don’t know Desert Island Discs is a BBC radio programme in which guests have to imagine they are castaways on a desert island and choose 8 pieces of music to take with them. Then they can choose one book, anything but the Bible or Shakespeare, both of which are already on the island (strange island this). And finally, they can choose one luxury item, nothing to help them escape from the island though.

So, here goes. First my eight pieces of music.
This is quite difficult actually. I have favourite pieces of music for every mood, and what I feel like listening to sometimes changes within hours never mind days, but I shall do my best.

1. Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler – This is my all time favourite song, although it also makes me a little sad. You see, it was also one of my step mam’s favourite songs. I like to listen to it on days when I find myself wishing she was still around (she died when I was 12 those who are wondering). So clearly it would have to come to the desert island with me for her sake. Also it’s on the soundtrack to the film Beaches, which makes it pretty appropriate for a desert island don’t ya think?

2. Bad Day by Daniel Powter – For those days when I’m feeling all hormonal and miserable. Who doesn’t like screaming “cos you’ve had a bad day” at the top of their lungs on days like that?

3. Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall – It took me aaages to decide on this one. I knew I had to have something b y Poets, them being my new favourite band and everything, but it was so unbelievable difficult to decide which one. I’ve gone for this one because it’s kind of loud and rocky, perfect for jumping around a desert island too, and plus my boyfriend can play it on guitar so it would be something to remind me of him.

4. World by Five for Fighting – It was a toss up between this one and Devil in the Wishing Well. This one won out, but only just. I would put it on full blast, close my eyes and imagine myself a new world, just like the song says. The perfect way to forget about being stuck on a desert island.

5. Miserable by Lit – Another one for horrible days when everything seems to be going wrong. I’ll never forget the first time I heard this song. I was 18 and I’d just had a fight with my boyfriend of the time. A guitarist friend of mine offered to play a song for me, so I told him to “play something miserable”, which he did. This was that miserable song. I’ve loved it ever since.

6. Ha Ha You’re Dead by Green Day – Not Green day’s best song and not even my favourite, but perfect for a desert island. Another great one for turning up to full volume and screaming out while jumping around like a loony.

7. Tribute by Tenacious D – This song is hilarious! It never fails to cheer me up. Also, it reminds me of my group of friends from uni. The DJ would play it for us every week and at some point it became our anthem. It’s nice to have something to remind of those times now we’re all spread across the world.

8. Keep on Loving You by REO Speedwagon – My first ever favourite song! Obviously I had no idea what it was about back then. I would just sing along to the chorus and imagine how it would be to have someone telling me he was going to love me forever. There are other REO Speedwagon songs that I like, but for my desert island it would obviously have to be this one that came along for the sake of my six year old self.

Phew. That was hard! I just hope I’ve got all the links right. Now for the book…
Well, obviously it would have to be something long otherwise I’d be finished with it way too soon and end up having to read and re-read the bible until rescue came. The obvious one would probably be War and Peace. I’m a quick reader and every time I finish yet another book my boyfriend threatens to buy me that one for Christmas! I think that one would be too obvious a choice though so I’ve decided to go with Gone With the Wind. I’ve heard so much about it but never actually got round to reading it (or watching the film) and I feel like I should. A desert island would be the perfect opportunity. And it 960 pages for this edition it should take me a few weeks to get through it…

And finally, my luxury item.
Now I know people are probably going to laugh at this but I think I would want my cuddly Eeyore.
This Eeyore was a birthday present from my mum this year. (Yes I got a stuffed toy for my 25th birthday. And your point would be?). He’s some kind of bedtime Eeyore, which means he’s dressed in a blue dressing gown and night cap thing and, depending on which way you look at him, either looks unbelievably exhausted or as if he’s just woken up. One day, not long after Eeyore arrived in Germany, Jan decided he felt sorry for him sitting on the table looking like he hadn’t slept in days, so before we left for work he tucked Eeyore up under my quilt. By the time I arrived home I’d forgotten he was there. I’d had a bad day and all I wanted was to get into my room and relax. Upon opening the door I saw Eeyore snuggled up waiting for me and my heart just melted. He looked so cute lying there, and of course knowing my boyfriend had put him there made it even cuter. So if I was going to be trapped on a desert island I would definitely have to tajk Eeyore with me so I could leave him tucked up in my bed waiting to greet me when I returned from a hard day of gathering cocunts and stuff. I’m sure he’d be a great comfort when I got sunstroke as well, which I most definitely would. If I can get sunstroke in Karlsruhe I’ve got no chance on a desert island!

OK, that’s it. Now I think I’m supposed to tag people. Unfortunately just about everyone I would have tagged has already done it though, so I pick sleepyjane and anyone else who wants to have a go…

Bevchen to the rescue

It was dark when I left work today. Dark and cold. I hate that. And things are only going to get worse – it’s another two whole months before we even reach the shortest day!

Anyway, enough whinging. Welsh Girl has tagged me for this meme. Apparantly if I don’t do it the world will end. I suppose I’d better do it then…
So, I’m supposed to tell you seven random things about me. Sounds pretty simple. I’m not sure it is though. Seven whole things? I just don’t think I’m that interesting. I shall give it a go though…

1. When I was younger my favourite colour was purple. I even decorated my room in it – or rather the decorator did. Actually, the wallpaper’s still there – purple with silver swirls. My entire family then decided it would be a wonderful idea to buy me purple stuff for every single occasion they could think of… birthdays, Easter, Christmas… I have an entire room full of purple candles, purple lamps, purple photo frames… and now I can’t stand the sight of the colour any more. I refuse to tell my relatives what colour I like now in case they put me off that one too.

2. I can only eat eggs if they’re mixed with milk. That means scrambled eggs and omlettes are fine, as are eggs in cake. Boiled and fried eggs make me throw up. It’s really annoying cos I actually like soft boiled eggs with toast soldiers but it’s just not worth the vomiting that I know will follow.

3. I once ate a beetle. Well, half of one anyway. I was sitting out in the garden when my mum noticed I had something in my mouth, so she came over to take a lot and discovered half a beetle in there. We can only assume I swallowed the other half. Clearly I was a sick child… but in my defence I was only about three years old at the time.

4. On my mum’s side, I’m the oldest of 18 grandchildren. My youngest cousin is a bit more than year old. There was one cousin who was older than me. She was born six months before I was and died at three weeks. Her name was Deborah.
I’m also the oldest grandchild on my dad’s side of the family, but as the other grandchildren are my sister and half brother it doesn’t really count.

5. My blog is the only place I ever refer to my mother as “mum”. In real life she’s mam.

6. I went to five different schools, three primary and two secondary. We moved around a lot.

7. My absolute all time favourite film is A League of Their Own. I still cry every time I watch it.

OK, now I’m supposed to pass it on to some of you lot. Most of the people I would have passed it to have already done it though. Hmm, I choose sleepyjane, Lauren from Half Deserted Streets and anyone else that wants to do it.

Now I have to go to a meeting with my floor. Hopefully normal blogging service will resume tomorrow… unless someone goes and tags me for another meme.

Something beginning with B…

My friends like to do these random surveys/fill in the sentence/whatever things. They send me them by email or post them as Facebook notes. Mostly I just ignore them but I liked the look of this one so I decided to steal it for blogging purposes.
Here are the rules:
1. Tell us your first name: Beverley
2. Complete the following statements. All answers must begin with the first letter of your name.

1) 4 letter word: Bell
2) Girl’s name: Bettina (I’m assuming using my own name would be cheating…)
3) Boy’s name: Benjamin
4) An Occupation: Banker
5) A colour: Blue
6) Something you wear: Bra (It was the first thing that came to mind ok!)
7) Beverage: Bacardi
8 ) Food: Burger
9) Something found in a bathroom: Bath
10) A city: Barcelona
11) A country: Brazil
12) Song with a girl’s name in the title: Black Betty
13) Something you shout: Boo!
14) Celebrity: uuhh… Bryan Adams
15) Cartoon character: Bugs Bunny
16) Flower: Bluebell
17) Animal: Bear
18) Fruit: Banana
19) A book title: Bloomability (by Sharon Creech)
20) A film title: Breakfast Club (OK, so technically it’s The Breakfast Club, but “the” doesn’t count… right?)

OK, now it’s over to you dear readers. If you’d like to join in just leave me a comment with a link to your blog (so I can come and see your list) then get memeing.

Memety meme

It’s meme time again methinks.
The original idea of this one was to answer the questions using one word only. But like the person I stole it from, katyboo, I’ve decided to completely ignore the one word thing and just answer the questions. Here goes…

1. Where is your cell phone? It’s a mobile, not a cell phone. In America it may be a cell phone, but here it’s a mobile.
Umm, as for where mine is…. still in my work bag I believe. Actually I should take it out and turn it back off silent. I’m expecting a call…


2. Your significant other? At work. And probably will be for a while. My boyfriend has a thing for working late.


3. Your hair? Is sort of reddish brown. I used to hate it. These days I think it’s ok… some days at least.


4. Your mother? is in England I presume. I’d be quite worried if she wasn’t. My friends all think she’s brilliant cos she was only 20 when i was born so she’s still really cool, unlike there parents who like to play Bingo at the local working men’s club and would never drink cocktails in Spain with their daughters.


5. Your father? He’s in England too. Probably looking after my two year old brother. The man is insane!


6. Your favourite thing? it changes a lot. I have lots of favourite thing. Probably my most favourite thing of all is books though, closely followed by mashed potatoes. And currently I’m love with my new jumper. Jan bought me it last week and it’s very, very nice.


7. Your dream last night? I don’t remember dreaming. I just know I was woken up three times by the sound of my boyfriend grinding his teeth. Funnily enough I’ve been tired all day… again.


8. Your favorite drink? Orange Ribena. You can’t get it here though. Damn Germans depriving me of my favourite things…


9. Your dream/goal? As a ki I dreamed of being a writer. Now I’d settle for translating books. Apparantly there’s not much money in it though so I’d have to get rich first.


10. The room you’re in? That would be my room in the German student residence that I currently live in. It’s far too small for all the stuff I’ve accumulated over the two years I’ve been living here, and it’s the only room I have to live in. Regular readers will know that I’m fed up of it and really, really, really want to move out.

11. Your hobby? What, you think I have time for hobbies?? Well, alright I suppose blogging is a hobby. That then. And reading. Having to take a tram to work gives me time for that.


12. Your fear? Losing all my friends. Oh, and that I’ll never get married. I have visions of myself ending up as a mad cat lady with no family or friends. And I don’t even like cats, which makes it extra scary.


13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Not living in this student residence for a start. Other than that.. who knows. It would be nice to wax lyrical about husbands and well paying jobs but then I’ll only be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.

14. What you’re not? Talented. At anything. Unless translation counts as a talent. Does it?


15. Muffins? What about them? they’re a kind of cake. I like the double chocolate ones, especially when they’re still warm and the chocolate chips inside are all soft and gooey.


16. One of your wish list items? Books. Lots and lots and lots of books. I have a list of books I want to read – it currently takes up about 10 A4 sheets of paper and I keep adding to it Or failing the books I’d settle for enough money to buy them all myself.


17. Where you grew up? All over the place. My dad was in the army. We never got sent to anywhere exciting though. Just northern Ireland for two years. But the place I consider home would be Northumberland. I moved there when I was 13 and it was the first place I’d ever lived by choice (my dad was out of the army by then and I moved up to live with him).


18. The last thing you did? Wrote the answer to the last question. Oh, you mean before that. Err, took a tram home from work. Exciting no?


19. What are you wearing? Dark grey work trousers, a polo neck and a brown jacket with fur around the hood. Oh yeah, and Snoopy socks.


20. Favorite gadget? Does a potato masher count as a gadget? Jan’s got one with two mashy bits, one that’s fixed at the bottom then a second one that moves towards the one at the bottom when you press down so the potatoes that have come through the first mashy bit get squished too. It’s brilliant.


21. Your pets? Ha! Like I’d be allowed any of them in a student residence!


22. Your computer? non-exisitent. Seriously, I don’t have one. This here belongs to the boyfriend.


23. Your mood? Is tired a mood? If not then no mood, they take up too much energy.


24. Missing someone? I live in Germany. Almost all my friends are in England. What do you think?


25. Your car? DOn’t have one of those. I can’t even drive. My mum’s been going on at me about learning for years but she’s not willing to pay for the bloody lessons is she.


26. Something you’re not wearing? A hat.


27. Favourite store? I can’t possibly answer that. There’s too many! I do like Tally Weijl though. And Nanu Nana.


28. Like someone? No, of course not. I hate everybody in the whooole world. Including myself. And my boyfriend. What kind of a daft question is that?


29. Your favourite colour? red


30. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier today, at the bosses dog. She’s only a puppy and very silly.

Happy Friday

I only worked for 5 hours today. Yes, you read that right. Five! And half an hour of that was lunch break. First I was told to come in an hour late so that a colleague could use my computer to proofread a translation I did (complicated story involving different versions of software and documents that can’t be printed) then I was sent home at 2:30pm. All I’d been doing since I arrived was more copying and pasting, so the bosses wife said once I was done with the German I could just go home and leave the English til Monday. Yippee!

Anyway, I saw this music meme over at sleepyjane‘s blog and I wanted to give it a go. Basically you put your mp3 player (or in my case computer playlist cos the mp3 player has no battery) on shuffle and complete each sentence with the song that comes on. Could be fun…

My alter ego is: Scattered (by Green Day)
When I’m in the shower I sing: Trucks and Trains (by Alkaline Trio)
My day will be like:
Bitch (by Meredith Brookes – ooer, I hope not! It’s been good so far…)
When I’m drunk I say: Tell Me Ten Words (by Idlewild)
Somewhere in my wedding vows I will include:
Perfect One (by Lit – wow, that’s actually quite appropriate. I swear I didn’t cheat!)
My makeout song is:
Stop Crying Your Heart Out (by Oasis – errm, ok then :-/)
My deepest secret is: Apple Shampoo (by Blink 182)
Next time I’m in front of a crowd I’ll say: Drop Dead Gorgeous (by Republica)
Highschool was like: Is This Thing On (by Less Thank Jake)
At my funeral they will play: Numb (by Linkin Park)
If I reached the top of mount everest I would scream: I Don’t Know (by Bowling for Soup – lol, good answer 😉 )
My ultimate song for dancing is: Steamer Trunk (by Alkaline Trio)
What makes me happy is: Happy in the Meantime (by Lit)
To cheer myself up I: Locking up the Sun (by Poets of the Fall)
The best thing about me is: Chasing Cars (by Snow Patrol)
I’ll have a good day if I can just hear: 1989 (by Less Than Jake)
My last words will be: I Miss You (by Incubus)
My best friend is like: Be Like That (by 3 Doors Down)
What I did last night was: I Wanna Go Where the People Go (by The Wildhearts)
My theme song is: Look What Happened (by Less Than Jake)
The story of my life is: Superman (It’s Not Easy) (by Five for Fighting)
At my wedding they will play: You Were Right (by Badly Drawn Boy)
My favourite thing to do is: Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night (by Bon Jovi)
Happiness is: Denial. Revisited (by The Offspring – gosh, that’s a bit depressing isn’t it)
I often think about: If I Had a Million Dollars (by Barenaked Ladies – hahaha)
My best friend always says: Hey There Delilah (by Plain White T’s)
This is what I want to be when I grow up: Crawling in the Dark (by Hoobastank)
My biggest fear is: Swallowed in the Sea (by Coldplay)

This is how I feel today: For Me This is Heaven (by Less Than Jake)

OK, that’s it. I’m not going to tag anyone specific, but if you’d like to do it too go ahead 🙂

The A to Z of me

Somone sent me this as an email. You’re supposed to complete the sentences that apply to you then send it back to whoever you received it from plus a bunch of people you think should do it too. Instead of emailing it I thought it would be a fun thing to blog about, so I’m going to do it here. I also think it would be great if my blogging friends did it too, so I hereby tag Katyboo, Welsh Girl and Hails over at Coffee Helps. Only if you want to of course. If anyone else reading this would like to do it too please feel free – just leave me a comment with a link to your post so I can pop over and have a read.

Did I by any chance just make my very first meme?
OK, here it is.

The A-Z of Me

A is for Ann. That’s my middle name.

B is for books. I like those a lot. In fact, I’m slightly obsessed with them. I would hate to live in a world eithout books. B is also for blogging, which I feel deserves a mention as it seems to be developing into my new obsession.

C is for Canada, somewhere I have never been but would like to go. Visit Canada is on my list of things to do before I die.

D is for dolphin. My favourite animal. I swam with dolphins at Zoo Marine in Portugal. It was a present from my mum and sister for my 24th birthday. D is also for dog. I am definitely a dog person. Cats are mostly either evil or stupid. Sometimes both.

E is for exercise, something I really need to start doing more of. The ten minute walk to the tram stop just isn’t enough…

F is for friends and family. My friends are the most important thing in my life. I don’t have many and find it hard to make new ones, which makes me appreciate the ones I do have even more. It’s just a shame most of them live so far away. My family come a close second in the important things stakes. We don’t always get along but when i need them I know they’ll be there for me.

G is for Germany, the country I’ve lived in for the last two years. I first came over at the end of 2003 for my compulsory year abroad. Jan and I got together in February 2004 then six months later I had to retrun to England. After spending a year there completing my degree followed by a year as a language assistant in Austria I decided it would be nice to actually live in the same country as my boyfriend again. It also didn’t hurt that I actually like Germany and still had a few friends here.

H is for homeless. I have no real home any more. Here I have a room in a student residence. In England I have a room at my dad’s place. Nowhere do I have a real home to call my own.

I is for icecream. I like icecream, especially posh icecream or the kind that comes in interesting flavours, such as those made by Häagen Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s. I is also for igloo. Wouldn’t it be cool to go inside a real one, built by actual eskimos?

J is for Jan, aka “the boyfriend”. We’ve been together 4 and a half years now and I can’t quite belive he’s managed to put up with me for so long. Mind you, for 2 years it was long distance so really we’ve only been in a regular relationship for 2 and a half years. Not actually living together probably helps too.

K is for kitchen. I love to cook, but not for myself. It’s much more fun when someone else is going to be tasting the result. I also love baking but unfortunately don’t often find the time for it.

L is for languages. I currently a speaktwo – English, as my native language, and German. I would like to learn a lot more, including Spanish, Ukranian and Italian.

M is for mother. I hope to be one some day. Ideally I would like three kids, but that’s looking less and less likely as the years go by.

N is for names. I’m fascinated by names – the meanings behind them, the fact that a name that’s definitely female in one country may be male in another. It’s all very interesting… honest!

O is for orangutan, just because they’re cool. When I was little I thought the word was “orangutang”.

P is for potatoes, my favourite food. I could live on potatoes. Baked, roast, fried… anything goes. Except boiled – boiled potatoes are just boring! Mashed potatoes on the other hand are the ultimate comfort food and fantastic on a cold, miserable day.

Q is for quiz. I used to go to pub quizzes with my dad. Occasionally my team even worn. I like the pub quiz at Flynn’s here in Karlsruhe – you can win a special prize for putting down an answer that they think is funny or clever. Usually the special prize (a bag full of crisps, sweets and maybe a random alcopop) is better than the real prize (whiskey, which I hate).

R is for red, my favourite colour. I wore a red dress at my 21st birthday party. It cost me 150 pounds, the most money I have ever spent on one item of clothing.

S is for Shirley, my future daughter’s middle name. My step mum was called Shirley. She died when I was 12. My first daughter is having Shirley as a middle name in her honour. Any man that can’t understand that isn’t worthy of being the father of my children.
S is also for siblings, of which I have three. A sister, who is two and half years younger than I am, and two half brothers one from each side of the family. The brother on my mum’s side is almost 18 (how did that happen? He was just a kid a few years ago!). The brother on my dad’s side has just turned two.

T is for translator, what I will hopefully be in a few years time. Right now I’m a trainee translator. The ideal job for me would be translating children’s books, but there’s not much money in it so it would have to be on the side.
T is also for travel. There are so many places to see, so many cultures to learn about. Why stay in one place all your life?

U is for university. I’m currently studying part time for my Master’s in Translation, via distance learning. U also happens to be for the name of my university, UWE, the University of the West of England.

V is for variety, the spice of life. The old saying is definitely true for me – I would get so bored if I was forced to do the same thing all the time!

W is for writing. For a long time I wanted to be an author. I still haven’t entirely given up on that dream, although now I don’t think I have the talent. I did do an OU fiction writing course last year though so you never know.

X is for x-ray, because it almost always is. I’ve never had one though – no broken bones here!

Y is for yellow flowers, something else I like. My favourite is daffodils, but I also love sun flowers. Yellow roses are pretty too.

Z is for zzz, as in sleep. I’m good at sleeping and tend to get irritable when I don’t get enough. Sometimes, when I’m really tired, I’ll just cry for no reason.

OK, that’s me done. Now it’s your turn…

Finish the sentences…

Katyboo told me to do this. Well, she didn’t actually tell me to do it, she tagged everyone. But I am part of everyone, therefore I must do it. Because… well… look, it’s my blog. Don’t ask questions ok?

Anyway, the idea is the bold bits are the original meme. You then have to finish the sentences in your own way. Oh, and your supposed to tag some people to do it after you as well. I don’t actually know anyone to tag though, so I shall follow Katy’s example and just tag anyone who happens to stumble across this post. If you read that last sentence and haven’t done the meme already you now have to do it. Because I said so. Mwah-ha-ha.

And now, without further ado….
The Finishey-Sentencey Meeeeeem

1. My uncle once: ran away from home and slept in his car for a month. At least I think it was a month. He’s a bit strange my uncle. In fact my whole family is a bit strange. You have been warned.

2. Never in my life: Have I been to Canada. I would love to go though – wanna take me?

3. When I was five: I was just alive. Or so A.A Milne would like me to think. I actually have no idea what I was doing when I was five. I think that was around the time my parents got divorced. Or was that when I was four? Either way I was a lot shorter than I am now, and probably a lot less cynical.

4. High school was: Crap. The only good thing about it was my friends, and I didn’t have many of them. The whole place was bursting with charvas (or chavs as the rest of the country calls them). I’m surprised I managed to get any education at all.

5. I will never forget: My name. At least I hope not.

6. Once I met: a talking cat. His name was Sam. It was in one of those books you can order for your kids where they fill in the blanks with the name of your choice. For years I believed the story had been written especially for me.

7. There’s this girl I know: whose uncle is Richard Madely. As in Richard and Judy. Apparently he’s really arrogant.

8. Once, at a bar: I threw up all over myself and had to be escorted out through the fire escape. I was 17 and it was my friend’s birthday party. Funnily enough he was not impressed – especially since he worked at the pub!

9. By noon, I’m usually: starving! I spend the last hour before my lunch break unable to concentrate on anything but the fact that soon I will be able to eat something.

10. Last night: I was at a party. It was a pretty tame party. After I left I managed to go straight to sleep despite that fact that the celebration was happening right below my room. And these people call themselves students. Pathetic!

11. If only I had: an electric tin opener. My dad has one and I really, really want my own. I can never get the normal ones to work and look like a total idiot when I have to ask for help.

12. Next time I go to church: will probably be for someone’s wedding. No, not mine. If I ever do get married it won’t be in a church. I’d feel like a hypocrite.

13. What worries me most: losing all my friends. Now that they’re all having kids and getting married I worry that we have nothing in common any more and are just going to drift apart. I know it sounds pathetic but I’ve lost a lot of friends, and after a while it makes you paranoid.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a shelving unit thing that’s crammed with stuff. Mugs with smiley faces on them (I collect them), make up, rolls of wrapping paper, handbags, a scanner that my boyfriend randomly left there… I so need to move to a place where I have more than one room for all my things!

15. When I turn my head right I see: the window. There’s a hedge out there and a brick barbecue standing on a patch of grass. No people though. How can I people watch when there are no people around?

16. You know I’m lying when: I go very red and look at the floor. I cannot lie. At all.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the cartoons. Button Moon and Dangermouse and Thundercats. I know some of them are still on but it’s just not the same.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: One of the witches from Macbeth. Cos witches are cool, and they get to do spells and stuff.

19. By this time next year: I will hopefully have moved out of this building! Maybe I’ll be living with the boyfriend. I’ll also be 3 days away from my 26th birthday. Eeeeep!

20. A better name for me would be: Abigail. Or at least I thought so when I was 7.

21. I have a hard time understanding: other people. Hell, most of the time I don’t even understand myself!

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be even less organised than I was the first time round. I was terrible for doing my homework in the 5 minute break before the lesson.

23. You know I like you if: I offer you chocolate. Or smile at you. Or tell you I like you. Even if I don’t do any of those things I probably like you anyway.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: probably whoever was giving me the award. How boring am I?

25. Take my advice, never: spend a night in a bar ordering cokes then letting your friend top them up with the vodka she brought with her, then switch to ordering triple vodka and cokes when hers runs out. See the answer to number 8 to find out why…

26. My ideal breakfast is: more like brunch. And brought to me in bed.

27. A song I love but do not have is: Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: leave before the chavs get you.

29. Why won’t people: get out of the bloody way.

30. If you spend a night at my house: you’ll have to sleep on the floor. And bring your own sleeping bag.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: a fire. I wouldn’t want to burn to death for the sake of being a Mrs.

32. The world could do without: wasps. They are the chavs of the insect world – no purpose in life and like to hang around rubbish.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: stand in a room full of moths.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: my sister and my mum.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: celery. You use more calories chewing it than it contains and it’s tasteless. What’s the point?

36. If I do anything well it’s: procrastinate. If I know something needs to be done I’m willing to do almost anything but that. I’m also quite good at translating.

37. I can’t help but: worry about the future. And about money. And the fact that I’m getting older.

38. I usually cry: when I’m really, really tired. Or if something sad happens on TV.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: never date a DJ.

40. And by the way: it’s my birthday on Wednesday. What? I’m just saying….