Return of the moth-beasts

When I moved out of the student residence I thought my days of battling with food moths were over. Apparantly I thought wrong.

A couple of weeks ago I saw an evil moth-beast flying around my flat. I had seen a moth flying out of my clothes cupboard a few weeks before that and taken the appropriate measures (hence my flat smelling of lavendar all the time now) and this one was kind of hovering between where the clothes live and where the food is kept (it’s a very small flat) so I couldn’t decide which kind of moth it was. But I chased it with a rolled up magazine anyway and managed to squish it to death somewhere in the living room. I was hoping it was just a stray but alas it was not to be. Since then I have seen three more moths and established that they are, in fact, food moths. Again. The third one was discovered today and killed by the boyfriend who squished it against the cupboard with his bare hand. I still feel faintly sick now and this happened half an hour ago. So now I want to throw out every item of food that a moth could possibly find in any way interesting. The boyfriend says I’m “exaggerating to my own disadvantage” (and is now mad at me becasue of it) but the alternative would be to actually look inside all the packages to see whether any moths have made their nests in there. No, no, no! I will not do it! The thought of a moth flying out at me from inside my cereal box is just too terrifying.

Unemployment, moths… could this week get any worse?

Lather. Rinse Repeat.

I feel like I should write some generic blog post for days like these. Then in future all I’d have to do is copy and paste the basic outline then fill in the specifics. It could look something like this: Went to bed. failed to sleep. Got up. Went to work. Tired all day. Came home. Ate random crap and failed to do what I was supposed to. Went to bed. Failed to sleep. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Ad infinitum.

So I almost missed my tram this morning. Ironically I was actually ready on time, but instead of putting my coat on and leaving I spent ages staring out of the windows trying to work out whether it was raining. Some days I think I should have been born blonde.

Also, when I opened my wardrobe this morning a moth flew out. Yes, I said moth. In my wardrobe. Aargh! Presumably this is my punishment for asking a while ago whether clothes moths had become extinct. The answer, it seems, is no. So after work I went and bought something that claims to protect against moths for half a year. It looks like a piece of green paper and it stinks of lavender. Not exactly my favourite scent, but if it’s that or a wardrobe full of moths I’ll take the lavender. Alternatively I could have bought some pheremone covered sticky paper which apparantly attracts the moths then traps them… then they die trying to get away. All well and good, but I don’t want a piece of paper covered in dead moths in my wardrobe any more than I want live ones flying around in there. So lavender it is. Yay. Now I’m going to have to take all the clothes out of my wardrobe and give them a shake to make sure nothing evil is hiding in there. If you never hear from me again I’ve probably been attacked by a moth-beast and died of a heart attack.

Oh yes, and I was supposed to go to the post office today to pick up a package that came on Thursday. I should have got it on Friday but I forgot to take ID to work with me. And today I completely forgot to get off my tram early, then by the time I remembered I didn’t feel like taking a tram back there. They couldn’t possibly have taken my mail to the post office that’s actually near me, could they? Yep, definitely should have been blonde today. At least then I would have an excuse…

One  more thing, then I shall leave you in peace. Chio hot cheese dip, while not particularly hot,  is totally addictive and should be kept far, far away from me. I’ve almost eaten a whole jar of it (on crisps, not with a teaspoon – although I could definitely do that) just while typing this.

Right, I shall leave you now. There’s real food to cook and evil beasts to chase away (plus an entire sink full of dishes that I failed miserably to wash at the weekend. Cos I’m good like that).

August. Blink too often and you’ll miss it.

I have nothing to say at the moment, but I feel like now I’ve started this blog I must write something every single day. No idea why – perhaps I’m afraid an evil creature will come and get me if I don’t.

Oooh, speaking of evil creatures… I have been saved from the scary, scary moths. On Friday eveing I saw another of the creepy little bugs in my cupboard. It was just sitting there on the top shelf trying to look all innocent.. then it flew out and touched me!! Scream? I did! Jan, who was watching TV at the time, called me pathetic then told me to just go away, he would deal with it. So I did. And he did. He took everything off the top shelf of the cupboard, threw away some pudding rice and a tub of vanilla cappucinio (apparantly there were moths sitting on the cappucino. On the lid that is. No idea why – it’s not like there was any way for them to get to the powder inside). Then he washed out the cupboard, put my remaining food back in and since then I’ve been moth free. A whole 3 days now. Woo hoo!

Time is zooming away from me again. Already August is more than half over. Actually, it’s kind of a good thing that August is more than half over… I’m getting very low on money and need it to hurry up and be the end of the month… pay day! But still… how is this already the third week of my new internship? My last place of work is starting to seem almost like a distant memory. No wonder I never manage to get everything done… it seems like every time I blink I open my eyes to find that an hour’s passed.

See… it just did it again. It’s 7:45pm now and I haven’t done a single useful thing this evening! How do other people manage to hold down full time jobs and keep on top of all their housework and bring up children, all at the same time? With only one small room to keep tidy and no children to worry about I can’t even manage to keep on top of my laundry! Just more evidence that I’d be the world’s worst housewife I guess…

Under attack!

For many years there were only two types of moth in my world. The big scary ones that like to attack unsuspecting people who dare to have the light on and the window open at the same time and those (presumably quite small) ones that like to eat clothes and are the reason people in old books smell of moth balls. Nobody in modern books ever seems to use moth balls, and I’ve never met anyone in real life who does either. Have clothes moths become extinct maybe? Or does everything we wear have built in moth protection these days? … Anyway, as I was saying… two types of moth…. Well, here in Germany I’ve discovered a new kind of moth. This kind lives wherever food is stored and likes to attack dry foods, like flour, sugar, rice… If you come into the kitchen to find your rice all stuck together and something that looks slightly like cobwebs around the top of the box you’ve probably got food moths. Either that or a spider has decided to make its home in your cupboard. The only solution to food moths is to keep anything that might attract them in moth proof containers. Tupperware tubs are good for this. Washed out icecream tubs work too.

My floor is currently infested with these moths. No idea where they’re coming from, but they’re there. So last night I went into my kitchen in search of food. I opened the cupboard and whoosh – two little moths came flying towards my cupboard at the speed of light. Aarrggh! Instantly going into panic mode, I slammed the cupboard door and ran to the middle of the kitchen where they couldn’t get me. The idea of a moth, even a little food one, touching me is terrifying! Miraculously I had actually managed to shut the cupboard door in time, so instead of going in the moths were hovering round the door, probably making plans to creep in through some tiny gap next to the hinges while I wasn’t looking. Well, I wasn’t going to let them do that, was I? So I grabbed a newspaper from the table and went on a moth killing spree. WHACK! Take that you evil, scary creature! BASH! Get away from my foooood! WALLOP! Die beast, die!

And now every time I look in my cupboard I expect to see Moths 2 – The Revenge. That’s the one where all the friends and relatives of the moths I killed try to avenge their deaths by invading my cupboard and flying out at me in huge clouds next time I go to make food. *Shudder* I’m doooomed. Doooomed I tell you, doooooooomed!