Too personal?

ssshThe other day, while having a Facebook conversation with my boyfriend while his phone was blocked, I happened to mention a comment that a fellow blogger had made on this post. I followed that up with “And now you know I blogged about you. But I suppose you guessed that already :-P”. The response was “No, I hadn’t guessed that :S”. “Is that bad?” I asked, thinking the :S face didn’t look positive. The rest of the conversation went like this:

J: Well, it is a bit of a private matter, don’t you think?
Me: I didn’t go into detail. But I can make those posts private now if you want.
Me: What do you think I blog about usually?
J: Not me?
Me: But you know I blog about you. I’ve told you I do.
J: Yes, sometimes. But I assume it’s not usually about my health or similarly private matters.
(At this point I should probably add that, while he knows all about my blog – including what it’s called and where it’s hosted – he chooses not to read it)
Me: I blog about my life. The fact that my boyfriend is in hospital in Turkey and I’m worried kind of has to do with my life.
J: Well yeah, it depends on how much detail you’d be divulging about me
Me: So I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all? I don’t know what you consider too much detail.
Me: You know I write about our relationship as well, right?
J: Well, I would say health is generally a sensitive area. So anything beyond “appendectomy” is pretty private I would think.

Ah. Well, I can’t say I did stop at the word appendectomy, to be honest After I’d explained what I wrote (basically that he’d called me at work to tell me he was getting his appendix out and then sent a text later to say the op had gone well), he responded with “well, that’s not too detailed then”. He then changed the subject, before saying that his colleague had arrived and he was going outside for a bit. He never did respond to the “You know I write about our relationship as well, right?” question. But the whole conversation got me thinking.

Am I too open on my blog? As I mentioned, Jan knows exactly how to find it and I’ve told him before that he’s welcome to read it. I believe that anyone I write this much about should have the opportunity to see what I’m saying about them. He’s never taken me up on it though – he says it’s my blog and he doesn’t want to censor it. And also that he assumes I “know how to handle it”, whatever that means, but he didn’t expect there to be anything about his operation on there. The fact that he then said what I had written is not too detailed wasn’t very reassuring. What did he think I had written, if not what I actually did? How much more detail would I have had to go into for it to be bad? And if he ever does decide to read my blog, what will he think of all the other posts that mention him? I mean, I’ve written about our sex life! And that wasn’t the first time I’d mentioned it either. I’ve also written about his utter inability to commit – to anything, not just me, and before that about the fact that he didn’t want to move in with me (which, of course, he since has).

Now I’m left wondering if any of the posts that mention him are not too personal. Or did he not respond to my pointing out that I blog about our relationship because he doesn’t care what I write about that? He knows I use my blog to get my feelings out and that my readers give me advice (because I have told him!). But does he realise how much detail I go into? And, the most important question, where do I go from here? Perhaps from now on I should stick to more generic posts, about baking and travel and the weirdness of Germans. But then what would I do to keep myself sane? Aargh, it’s a dilemma!

Over to you readers. Do you think my blog is too personal? Do I divulge too much about Jan? What next for Confuzzledom? Once again, I need your advice…


Prolific, meaning intellectually productive

Apparantly I am a prolific blogger. At least Pinklea thinks so. She even gave me an award. Look! Isn’t it fabulous?

The two definitions I found for prolific are 1) intellectually productive, as in prolific writer, or 2) producing abundant works or results. Well, I can’t say my blog posts have been particularly intellectual or abundant lately (stupid boxes wanting to be unpacked and furniture wanting to be put together), but I shall take it as a cue to get things back on track. I can’t promise to be particularly intellectual – I’m not sure I’ve ever been that – but I can do abundance. Oh yes!

Anyway, the rules say I have to link to the person who gave me this award. I’ve done that bit – up there. You see where it says Pinklea? Click it! She’s very entertaining. I’m also supposed to link to this website, which explains what the prolific blogger award actually is. Thirdly, I have to add my blog to “Mr Linky’s Magical Widget” (I swear I didn’t make that up!). Aaand finally, I have to pass the award on to seven other bloggers who I feel are deserving of this award. Sooo, here goes. Apologies if any of you have had it before. Obviously it just goes to show how fabulously awesome you all are. And now if the following bloggers would please step up and receive their award…

Over to you guys! I’m going to bed to prepare for my return to work tomorrow after a whole week off. Good night all.

Cookies for my blog’s birthday

Usually I try not to write too much about my relationship. Obviously the boyfriend gets plenty of mentions… it would be pretty hard to write about my life without him coming into it somewhere… but I don’t really write much about the relationship itself. There are reasons for this.
I hate people whose blogs seem to make out they’re in this perfect relationship where nothing ever goes wrong, there are never fights about silly things or periods where you can’t stay in the same room together… I’ve found my soulmate and everything is so perfect and we’re meant to be together forever type thing. Nobody’s relationship is that perfect and all that sugary sweetness just makes me want to puke. So if I were to only write about the good parts of my relationship, the times when the boyfriend is wonderful, we hardly have any fights and I’m happy, happy, happy it would be slightly hypocritical, don’t ya think? Buuut, I don’t think it’s really fair to the boyfriend for me to write too much about the bad stuff. I mean the entire world (or at least that part of it that speaks English) can read my blog, and it’s not like he can defend himself here, is it? There are lapses though. Sometimes when the boyfriend does something that really, really annoys me or we have our third fight in less than 3 days or I’m just sexually frustrated because the boyfriend would rather sleep til one o’clock in the afternoon than… well, y’know (and this is happening for something like the third time this month) I find myself breaking down and blogging about it. It’s better than the alternative… which may or may not involve breaking things. Lesser of two evils and all that. Soo you may feel free to ignore my last post if you wish. And I won’t tell you too much about the rest of yesterday. There was shouting, there were tears, we finally talked about some things that should have been talked about a long, long time ago… and yes, there was make-up sex (I know you’re all curious about that one ;-)). Let’s just leave it at that shall we.

Anywaay, after the boyfriend and I had made up yesterday I decided I needed junk food. Unfortunately he is now paying for the shopping (I’m unemployed, remember), so all we ever get is boring, sensible things like vegetables and milk. And yesterday was a holiday (Corpus Christi… possibly) which meant all the shops were closed. So I decided the way forward was clearly to bake something. My original idea was cupcakes but then Jan planted the word “cookies” in my head and I could not resist. One extensive Google search, a sore arm from mixing and a sugar covered kitchen later we had chocolate chip cookies, just in time for my blog’s first birthday (which is today).

And on that note I shall leave you.
Cookie anyone?cookies