Answering the world’s questions

I’ve had a headache and a sore throat all day today and I’m very, very tired, so I can’t be bothered to think of anything to blog about. Instead I’m going to get my friendly neighbourhood search engine users to do the thinking for me. Yes, it’s that time again. Time to answers the questions that google springs upon me. Those of you who don’t know what I’m on about about can go and read the introduction to my previous questions and answers session. The rest of you may carry on reading.
Here come the questions…

1. Questions to ask to prove people are drunk
I wouldn’t have thought you’d need to ask them anything. Surely the staggering around bouncing off walls thing gives it away. If you really can’t tell try asking them their phone number. I know I can never remember mine when I’m drunk. Mind you, I probably couldn’t tell you it when I’m sober either so it’s not exactly a foolproof test.

2. Why am I still tired when I wake up?
Possibly because you spent half the night on the computer asking Google stupid questions. Either that or you were forced to share a room with someone who snores. Or it’s Wednesday. Nobody can fail to wake up tired on a Wednesday. Fact.

3. How to practice translation
Find something to translate. Translate it. Show your translated version to a native speaker of that language. Find out your translation is crap. Translate the text again. Continue until either a) you get bored or b) your brain turns to mush from trying to think in two different languages at once. If you can keep this up every day for a month you’re ready to become a translator.

4. How to tell difference between black & navy socks
You can’t, it’s impossible. I suggest you throw out all the boring black and navy socks and go get yourself some interesting ones.

5. Why do I dream of serial killers
Three possibilities.
1) You’re a psycho
2) There actually is a serial killer out to get you
3) You’ve been watching too many horror films.
You choose which one you think applies to you.

OK, that’s all for today. My stats have been rather slow on the questions front lately and I really don’t feel like answering 12 different variations on the “I am bored” theme. If you enjoeyed this pop on over to Katy’s place for more question time. Meanwhile I’m off to suck on a strepsil and drink enough tea to fill a small bath.

Advertisement