Post isolation fantasy choices challenge

Kezzie has put together a challenge with some questions about what people will do when all the restrictions are lifted and we can safely go about our lives again. I thought it would be a fun thing to ponder so here are my answers.

1. Restaurant you would go out to.

We usually go to a vegetarian/vegan restaurant called Tibits whenever I’ve had to go into the office in Germany. We haven’t been since the beginning of March and I’m actually starting to miss it! Or I might like to try a restaurant that we haven’t been to yet.

2. Friend you would meet up with first.

As I mentioned in this post, I don’t really see many friends at the best of times, but I had been planning to meet up with my friend who lives Karlsruhe and her boyfriend once the weather got warmer so  hopefully we will get to do that before the summer is over!

3. Place you would go.

Realistically it will probably be Germany to work since I’ve now missed 3 of my regular trips there 😅. But if we’re talking fantasy answers I would love a weekend away somewhere. Maybe up a mountain somewhere in Switzerland.

4.  Shop you would go to.

I don’t really do much shopping outside if supermarkets – Switzerland is too expensive! So it would probably just be the department store Manor to buy stickers (I use them on the envelopes when I send cards for Post Pals or letters to my pen pals). Or I would go to the bookshop, wistfully read all the synopses then leave without buying anything because they’re sooo expensive. I can honestly order a book from Waterstones in the UK and pay less for it including postage to Switzerland!

5.  Food item you would buy/eat.

The only thing I haven’t been able to buy is yeast and since I planned to make hot cross buns with it I feel like that ship has sailed!

6.  Cake you would eat.

If I want cake I can make it (as long as if doesn’t involve yeast!) but I do love the chocolate, pear and hazelnut cake from the restaurant at Papiermühle so I would have to say that.

Toblerone cheesecake

7.  Show you would/will go to see

We didn’t have any planned so I would have to see what’s on once events are allowed again. I’m hoping for another good comedian to come to Switzerland. Bill Bailey would be nice!

8.  Concert you will go to watch.

Jan is still hoping a project he’s involved in will go ahead in October so most likely that.

9.  Relative you will hug first.

My mum had been planning to come over in June so if we can rearrange that it will be her. But honestly I don’t even know when I will see any member of my family again. Flights probably won’t be going for a long time 😦

10. Holiday you would go on.

It would be great if we could rearrange the Poland trip we had to cancel. Or maybe I’ll take a trip to the UK and hug all my family!

11.  Other activity you would take part in.

I had been planning to sign up for a beginner’s crochet course at the end of March so if that’s repeated when things open again it will most likely be that.

12.  Thing you would do at work.

I am still working as normal and I already worked from home apart from on two days a month, so there’s no task that I need isolation to be over to be able to do. However, things were really slow this week so I am hoping our customers will get back to work so they can send us things to translate!

13.  Item you would buy.

I don’t think there is anything I want/need that I couldn’t just order now. Maybe we will finally get round to buying balcony furniture?

That’s it. I really enjoyed thinking up these answers. Hopefully I will get to actually do some of them this year! If you want to answer them too I would love to see your answers and please also link to Kezzie’s post and stop by to say hi/let her know you’ve done it.

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60 Questions

I’m feeling very uninspired right now so it seemed like a good time to use this post that I’ve been gradually working on for a while. I got it from Audrey, who got it from Emelia. Audrey answered 45 questions, Emelia’s version had 73 and I went for something in between. So here are my answers to 60 questions. Maybe you’ll learn something new about me.

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you this month?

Kristen sent me Wundersmith  (book 2 of the Nevermoor series). I literally hugged the book while I was telling Jan about it. Before it arrived I was planning to say receiving positive feedback from a customer at work, but honestly the book made me much happier – not the book itself  (although I have been desperate to read it) but the fact that someone was thinking about me and wanted to make me smile  ❤

2. What’s your favourite game?

Articulate – it’s sort of like Taboo but my opinion much better. I also love Trivial Pursuit.

3. When are you most inspired?

Immediately after deciding to try something new. Which is why I have crochet hooks and a book for learning to crochet but have never actually tried it. By the time the stuff arrived my inspiration was gone.

4. If you could teach one subject in school, what would it be?

I worked as an English language assistant for two year and realised during that time I hated teaching so preferably none 😉 If I have to choose something then English literature.

5. What’s your favourite beverage?

Dandelion and Burdock.

6. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

After I lost the twins someone said they hoped we wouldn’t give up trying because we would make great parents. That’s definitely the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

7. What is your favourite birthday cake?

Is birthday cake a separate thing to just cake? Probably something chocolate.

8. What is one thing you still have from your childhood?

Other than books…. Nick the purple mouse I’ve had since I was born.

9. What is your favourite film?

My go-to answer is A League of Their Own but actually there are others I love equally. I’m useless at picking favourites.

10. What is something you can’t do?

Touch my toes… I’m so not flexible! Also play an instrument. I could probably learn with many years of practice but I’ll never be more than just competent. Also draw.

11. Window or aisle seat?

Window on short flights, aisle if it’s like an 8 hour flight.

12. What is something that makes you laugh no matter what?

The film Clue. Always hilarious no matter how many times I watch it.

13. What are your favourite lyrics of all time?

All time? Wow. Umm. That’s asking a lot. Again, terrible at picking favourites. We’ll go with this:

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you?
Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel

Also including this because the third line makes me laugh:

I met Jane at the centre of the earth
It was dark there was dirt all around
But I gather you can figure that
Devil in the Wishing Well – Five for Fighting

Other strong contenders were lines from Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, Desperado by The Eagles and The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie.

14. What is your favourite holiday?

Pancake Day!

15. What’s heavily played on your music play list right now?

I listen to music on my phone and I always have it on shuffle so no one thing is usually played heavily, unless shuffle goes mad and plays several things from the same artist. The last song I listened to was Forget Tomorrow by Feeder if that helps.

16. If you could raid one woman’s closet, who would it be?

Kezzie‘s. She always wears the best outfits.

17. Must have purse item?

Since I’m British purses are not handbags so obviously money 😉 That and cards are the only things that fit in there.

18. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 12?

Author. I’m such a cliché.

19. What is something you will not be doing in ten years?

Given I’ll be about to turn 46 I’m guessing no matter how things work out with IVF I’ll have given up trying to get pregnant by then.

20. What is an important life lesson for someone to learn?

Whatever it is you’re going through, its not the end of the world. It may not feel like it right now, but you will get through it. However, while you are going through things, it really is okay not to be okay. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. And don’t let anyone else tell you when it’s time to move on. There is no time limit to feeling bad. (However, if it’s been a while and you truly can’t imagine ever feeling okay again, it is okay to ask for help… even professional help if necessary). Wow, that was long. Sorry if you were expecting something more succinct.

21. How do you start your day?

On week days by snoozing my alarm and wishing that time of morning didn’t exist. Once I’m up and showered the day always starts with tea.

22. Would you ever live anywhere besides where you do now?

I love where I live now! I would live in Austria again given the chance though. Maybe Salzburg.

23. What is your favourite dessert?

Again with the favourites 😅. I like a good crumble. Also chocolate fondant.

24. Is there a dessert you don’t like?

I hate melon so probably melon sorbet or fruit salad containing melon  (or even worse grapefruit!)

25. It’s brunch! What do you eat?

All the potato-based products, scrambled eggs, bacon. Maybe some fruit.

26. Where was the best vacation you’ve ever taken?

New Zealand.

27. Favourite Disney animal?

I like Bernhard from The Rescuers.

28. What is a book you are planning on reading?

All of them? Lol. Obviously I am hoping to get to Wundersmith soon and I’m looking forward to reading The World Without Us by Mireille Juchau.

29. What did you read most recently?

Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman. I do not recommend.

30. Favourite solo artist?

Tina Dico

31. What is something you’re tired of?

The never-ending story of Brexit. I still think it’s a bad idea but at this point I think if they’re really determined to ruin the British economy (and possibly make me lose the right to work in Germany) I wish they’d hurry up and get on with it already!

32. What’s a city you wish to visit?

Copenhagen

33. Heels or flats?

I only wear heels for weddings. Lol.

34. Where does one go on a perfect road trip?

Around Switzerland, obviously 😉

35. What do you do on a rainy day?

Read, cross stitch, drink tea.

36. What’s your favourite exercise?

This is a joke, right? 😂 Um, I’m saying walking counts

37. What was your worst subject in school?

Art and music. Both teachers strongly advised that I drop their subject when it came to GCSE options. I also hated Design Tech because I was terrified of most of the machines.

38. What animal do you identify with the most?

Red panda. Mostly solitary, spends most of the day sleeping, needs to eat a lot and only comfortable at temperatures ranging from 17 to 25 °C. Sounds like me 😉

39. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Toast… except when it’s plastic-free July and I can’t buy bread 😦

40. What do you usually eat for dinner?

Um, different things. There is no “usually”. I don’t like to eat the same food every night.

41. Cooking or baking?

I enjoy both although when I’m only cooking for myself it seems pointless. I don’t bake as much as I would like because I hate all the cleaning afterwards.

42. Favourite baked good?

Yorkshire Parkin, made to my grandma’s recipe.

43. What is something you wish you could be good at?

Any of the things that is traditionally considered a “talent”… drawing, music, any sport. Oh, and Spanish. I can never seem to get beyond beginner level.

44. Skiing or surfing?

I’ve never done either. Yes, I live in Switzerland and have never skied. I also lived close to a ski resort in Austria. I’m terrible…

45. First celebrity crush?

Devon Sawa based on those few minutes in the film where Casper is alive.

46. Most recent celebrity crush?

I don’t think I have any “recent” crushes. I’ll say Billie-Joe Armstrong

47. What colour was your prom dress?

Purple

48. How do you manage stress?

Badly? Umm, I don’t know. Writing my diary usually helps. Or going for a walk. Also tea  – tea always helps. course, when the stress is caused by work none of those are possible … then all I can do is power through and hope I can actually meet all the deadlines my wonderful colleagues have given me.

49. What do you do to relax?

Read, go for walks, drink tea, sleep.

50. Shoes or bags?

I’d rather buy books. Lol. But seriously in terms of accessories I have more tights than either shoes or bags. I love colourful tights.

51. How do you know if you’re in love?

Personally when I can stand to be around the person every single day without eventually wanting them to just go away. And I still love him even when he’s annoying me. But honestly I feel like you just know.

52. Who do you turn to when you’re sad?

Jan.

53. What are you most enchanted by?

Nature… a waterfall, a mountain view, a beautiful lake.

 

54. What is your biggest strength?

Manners. I am always unfailingly polite to shop assistants/waiting staff, etc. Even if I’m having the absolute worst day of my life, I will never be the customer that ruins your day. (I was even polite to the nurses at the clinic who needed four tries to get an IV in me and then got my blood all over the bed.) Is that a strength? I think it is.

55. What is your biggest weakness?

Caring too much what people (might) think. I find it difficult to make friends because I’m scared of talking to people I don’t know… I’m always afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and think I’m weird/not like me. So instead I say nothing and they think I’m weird anyway… and antisocial. I know it shouldn’t even matter what they think of me, but it does. And that’s why most of my friends live on the Internet 😉

56. What are 3 words to describe living in your city?

Rhine, culture, basilisks

57. Cutest thing on planet Earth?

Well-behaved dogs. Seeing them trotting along beside their owners,  off the lead, occasionally glancing up for reassurance/approval melts my heart. If they’re carrying a favourite toy  (stuffed friend!) it’s doubly adorable.

58. Favourite colour?

Red

59. Favourite time of day?

At the moment… when work is over 😅 (can you tell it’s been busy again?)

60. Favourite band?

I usually say Green Day but I haven’t even listened to their last album so I feel like that makes me a bad fan. Although in fairness I haven’t listened to any music released in the last five years except by accident so…

That’s it from me. Tell me your answers to some of these questions in the comments. Or let me know if you’ve done/are going to do this and I’ll come and check out your post.

Well, that’s a first

Yes, it’s another tag post… I totally stole this one from Audrey of Life as Louise, who in turn got it from Stephanie (who I believe was actually the original creator). It’s all about “firsts”. So, let’s just get straight into it.

What was your first word? My baby book says it was “Dada”.

Do you still talk to your first love? What do we consider first love here? The boy I thought I was “in love” with at 10 went to a different secondary school and I haven’t seen him since. The first person to break my heart and the person I really liked throughout my entire teenage years are both my friends on Facebook but neither actually interacts with me, ever.

What was your first alcoholic drink? Apart from trying sips of my parent’s wine/beer (and hating them!) probably a glass of Babycham at Christmas. Do people even still drink that?

What was your first job? Does babysitting count? I didn’t get paid for taking care of my siblings but some of my mum’s friends paid me. Otherwise it was giving tours of my university to potential future students. We got paid 10 pounds per tour, 50p of which was taken off as National Insurance contributions.

First pet? A cat called Rocky (short for Little Rock). He was actually my uncle’s but we looked after him for about a year.
Here’s a (blurry!) photo of me aged 4ish with a pet who was not mine:

Me, aged 4ish, with my grandma’s dog

What was your first car? Ha! I can’t drive.

Who was the first person to text you today? I haven’t received a text today.

Who was the first person you thought of this morning? Jan. The thought was along the lines of “either snooze your alarm or turn it off, but please make it stop!”.

Who was your first grade teacher? I have no idea! My mum might know.

Where did you go on your first aeroplane ride?  (Sorry, had to change it to British spelling!). I’m assuming it was when we moved to Northern Ireland, so Belfast.

Who was your first best friend and do you still talk? A girl called Jennie. She was my mum’s best friend’s daughter so we were kind of brought up together and forced to be best friends. We occasionally communicate via Facebook but I haven’t seen her since I was about 15.

Where was your first sleep over? I imagine it was at Jennie’s. We were at each other’s houses all the time. Unless I slept over at an aunt’s when I was really tiny? Both sets of grandparents lived 6 hours away so it wouldn’t have been there.

What was the first concert you ever went to? I have no idea! Possibly Boyzone? (Let’s not talk about how I had weird taste in music at 13!).

What was your first broken bone? I’ve never broken a bone.

What was your first piercing? Ears, on holiday in Wales. I think I was 7. I know it was a birthday present anyway.

What was the first foreign country you’ve gone to? Is that even correct grammar? Anyway… it was Greece.

What was the first movie you remember seeing? Beauty and the Beast with my grandpa, the year we moved back from Northern Ireland. (Wait… does this even mean at the cinema? Audrey answered as if it did, but the question just says “first” and I’m sure I watched Alice in Wonderland on video before that!).

When was your first detention? Ooh, I don’t know! I can’t remember if I ever got detention before I moved to my dad’s, but I had a few at the high school I went to up North. Mainly for not doing homework, once for talking in Maths (even though I was telling somebody to leave me alone! The teacher was really strict and awful.).

Who was your first roommate? Umm, nobody. The only person I ever shared a room with was my sister. And people I shared a flat/house with are not roommates whatever Americans might think!

What was the first sport you were involved in? I played netball in year 4.

What is the first thing you do when you get home? I work from home 😉 On the days I have to go into the office I come home, grab my mail (if there is any) and collapse on the couch.

When was your first kiss? It was in Northern Ireland, so I was probably about 7. I was with the aforementioned friend Jennie, who talked me into it. I don’t remember the boy’s name, but he was older. After that I never had another “real” kiss until I was 13.

This post doesn’t have many photos, so here’s one of me in my Brownie uniform at around the same time:

Okay, that’s it. Tell me some of your firsts in the comments… or if you decide to do the entire thing let me know and I’ll come and check out your post.

50 questions you’ve never been asked

Posting twice within a matter of days? Oh my! The world must have gone mad! (Actually Jan’s still asleep and I’m taking a break from cross stitch ;-))

I found this on Kezzie‘s blog, and she borrowed it from Emmamereta who got it from someone else. And so the world of blogging goes. I’m not sure these are all questions I’ve never been asked – I think I’ve been asked about the countries I’ve visited and favourite childhood TV shows before – but there were enough interesting ones in the mix for me to want to give it a go.

What’s your favourite candle scent?
I like apple and cinnamon around Christmas and I like fresh linen scents, but not always. Some brands smell nothing like fresh linen

Which female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Do authors count as celebrities? If so I would love Joanne Harris! Oh, and Mara Wilson (who played Matilda but is now all grown up and voices a character in Welcome to Night Vale)

Which male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Eddie Izzard, even though he’s the same age as my mum so that would be weird! I think we would have fascinating conversations though.

Do you know a hoarder?
My dad keeps a looot of stuff but he’s not an actual hoarder (like surfaces piled so high you can’t enter the house and refusing to even throw away literal rubbish hoarder). I probably keep too many things that have sentimental value, although I’m pretty good at getting rid of clothes (and replacing them with way too many more…)

Can you do the splits?
Nope. I’m the least flexible person in the world. Can’t touch my toes either!

How old were you when you learnt to ride a bike?
6 I think? I know it was in Northern Ireland anyway. I remember my little blue bike 🙂

How many oceans have you swam in?
The North Sea definitely (is that an ocean?). And the Mediterranean in Spain. Ooh, and the Irish Sea in Wales.

How many countries have you visited?
Well, I have lived in England, Northern Ireland, Germany, Austria and Switzerland, so there’s five to start with 😉 Plus: Scotland, Wales, Ireland, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Greece, Malta, Liechtenstein, The Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Portugal, the USA, Taiwan, New Zealand, Dubai. I think that’s everything. So 24?

Let’s split this up with a picture… Feldkirch, Austria, where I lived for 10 months

Is anyone in your family in the army?Not any more. My dad was (as was my step-dad).

What would you name your daughter if you had one?
There are a lot of girl’s names I like. I think we’ve maybe narrowed it down to one we would call our daughter, but I’m not going to tell you here because if we do have a child I will not be using his or her real name on my blog for the entire world to see! I will tell you that I love the name Beatrix because that’s one we definitely won’t be using.

What would you name your son if you had one?
I find male names a lot harder, and we have the added difficulty that whatever name we use has to be pronounceable in German and English (which seems to be easier with female names!). I always loved the name Tristan, but I don’t think we’ll use that.

What’s the worst grade you got on a test?
I got all Ds for my A-levels. That’s pretty bad.

What was your favourite TV show as a kid?
Button Moon when I was really little. Later I loved The Raggy Dolls, Byker Grove, SuperTed, Dangermouse, Sabrina the Teenage Witch (although I guess I was a teenager when I watched that).

What did you dress up as on Halloween, when you were 8?
I don’t think I did? I only remember dressing up for Halloween once as a child, for a party in Northern Ireland and we moved back to England before I turned 8. I know I never went trick or treating.

Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight books?/em>
All the Harry Potter books (the actual series, not Fantastic Beasts or whatever other spin-offs are out there), none of the others. I’ve been advised not to bother with Twilight.

Would you rather have an American accent or English accent?
Definitely English! Sorry Americans, but I find a lot of your accents annoying

Did your mother go to university?
She did, in her 40s! To become a nurse (you go to university for that in the UK – I know in other countries it’s not a degree). So proud of her.

Are your grandparents still married?
Both my grandfathers are dead now, but they would have been I’m sure.

Have you ever taken Karate lessons?
No.

Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
Are there people that don’t?

What’s the first amusement park you went to?
Not sure, but I was fairly young when I went to Thorpe Park and Chessington so maybe one of those?

What language, besides your native language would you like to be fluent in?
Ukrainian! My granddad was from there and I would love to be able to speak his language. Other than that Spanish. And I would like to achieve native-speaker fluency in German but that won’t happen (my German is pretty fluent but not enough to be mistaken for a native speaker).

Do you spell the colour grey or gray?
We have to translate into both British and American English and I’m forever getting confused over which spelling to use in which language! But grey is the British spelling, so in everyday life I use that one.

Is your father bald?
No, far from it.

Do you know triplets?
Yes. My grandma used to child-mind them.

Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I don’t think I’ve seen The Notebook.

Have you ever had Indian food?
Yes!  LOVE it!

What’s the name of your favourite restaurant?
I don’t have one. I like to try different places.

Have you ever been to Nando’s?
Once, because I met a friend at The Gate in Newcastle and it was chucking it down so we didn’t want to leave the building! It was okay but not amazing enough for me to understand all the fuss.

Do you belong to any warehouse stores?
No.

What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
I have a vague memory of being told I would have been a Philip if I was a boy, but I may have imagined that. (Mam, am I right?)

If you have a nickname, what is it?
Bev. Fairly boring. Sometimes Bee.

Who’s your favourite person in the world?
Jan. Is that really soppy? Other than that my friend K and my godson.

Would you rather live in the countryside or city?
I’m not a fan of big cities, but I’m not sure I would like to live right out in the countryside – unless I learned to drive. But even then being forced to drive everywhere would be a pain. I like where we live now – it’s within walking distance of the city, but also within walking distance of a farm, the woods, etc. Best of both worlds.

Can you whistle?
No.

Do you sleep with a night light?
No.

Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Umm, no. (Sorry mam!)

Do you take any pills or medication daily?
Yes. No, I’m not going to elaborate.

What medical condition do you have?
None that I know of.

How many times have you been to the hospital?
I was taken to A&A for stitches when I fell down the loft ladder as a teen. Other than that never as a patient (except for being born in hospital).

Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Yes.

Where do you buy your jeans?
I don’t actually own jeans any more, but the last pair I had came from C&A.

What’s the last compliment you got?
Umm… about two weeks ago someone said they liked the dress I was wearing. Huh, I had to think about that one.

Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
I remember quite a few, especially if I wake up in the middle of the, I tend to have vivid dreams.

What flavour tea do you enjoy?
Tesco chocolate flavoured black tea. I also like Orange and ginger, spearmint and Alnatura’s Sunshine Tea, but technically those are all infusions 😉

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Between 10 and 15, I think.

What religion will you raise your children to be?
None. They will be allowed to choose for themselves once they are old enough to make a decision. They will also be able to choose for themselves whether to formally enter any church and thus have to pay church tax if they end up living in Germany or Switzerland. I highly object to people having to pay church tax because their parents made the decision to have them christened as babies!

How old where you when you found out Santa wasn’t real?
7 or 8 I think?

Why do you have a blog?
My very first ever blog was on MSN spaces and I can’t remember why I originally started it, but I kept it up while I lived in Austria to update people on what I was doing over there. I started this blog because MSN Spaces (which by then had become Live Spaces) had closed down, I had hardly any friends and a lot of free time and I needed a place to get me thoughts out of my head – hence the tag line of my blog. Of course, I could have just written them in my diary, but I had always liked the interactive element of my old blog so I decided to send my thoughts out into the world, although my blog has always been primarily for myself. These days it also serves as a record of things I’ve done. I like to look back on places I’ve been and also remind myself of how far I’ve come over the past however many years (I don’t even what to think about the actual number… when did I get this old?)

If anyone plans to do this, please let me know. I would love to read your answers!

That time of week again…

It seems it’s Wednesday again. I’m not sure how mind – wasn’t it only just last Wednesday? Like right before I blinked my eyes? Hmm, well it seems the world is continuing to spin on its axis even if my brain can’t keep up and it is, indeed, Wednesday again. And that can only mean one thing… Question time!
Here we go.

1. Would I die if I boiled washing up liquid?
Yes, definitely. A horrible, painful death brought on by the poisonous fumes of evaporated washing up liquid. Either that or you’d be murdered by the next person to use the kettle. It’s just not worth it.

2. What is the name of my future boyfriend?
Ezekial Alexander Timothy Simmons. Whatever you do don’t call him Eats, or he may not be your future boyfriend after all…

3. Things to write about when bored.
– Purple monkeys
– Chocolate cake
– Spaghetti monsters
– The inhabitants of an imaginary island
– A haunted suitcase

4. How to get rid of a nervous headache.
Aww, the poor thing’s so nervous it had to hide inside your head. Try reading aloud to it from “The Little Book of Confidence”.

5. What to do if you miss the tram.
I suggest you panic. It’s what any sensible person would do. Alternatively you could learn to fly. Or just wait for the next one.

6. What to do when you’re bored of paper.
Go retro and start using a slate instead. They’re about due for a comeback anyway.

7. Is 25 still young enough to be naive?
I certainly hope not, cos if it is I’m screwed.
No, wait, not true. I’m not naive. At least I don’t think I am… am I?
I have to go and listen to the Kooks now – Naive is now playing inside my head and it sounds sooo much better when they do it!

Question time again

It’s Wednesday. Last Wednesday I did question time. I think I shall do question time again this Wednesday. I have nothing else to blog about (other than the fact that I’m exhausted, missed my tram again, don’t want to study… or go to work tomorrow, etc. etc. if you’re really desperate to read about all that stuff just go through my archives. I’ve written many complainy blogs over the past couple of weeks).
So here are the Google searches that have led people to me blog since this time last week and my silly comments on them. Enjoy.

How to prepare Bratensosse
Bratensosse, for those that don’t know, is the German version of gravy. It’s crap. Every time I’ve had it’s been far too runny, and it tastes weird. I really wouldn’t bother learning to prepare it if I were you. Go and find an English shop and buy some Bisto instead. Trust me, you’ll thank me for it one day. That’s assuming you’re in Germany. If not why would you even have Bratensosse? It’s not normal behaviour…

Plastic Paddington Bear cup
Oooh, do you have one? Does it have a label with “please look after this bear” written on it? Would you like to buy me one for Christmas?

Flowers beginning with B
Bluebell
Buttercup
Bee orchid
Black rose
Butter blossom
Bloomberry
Belldrop
… ok, I may have made the last three up.

Where do cakes take a nap?
In the b(r)e(a)d basket of course.
I’m so clever. Ha.

What to do if I fall asleep on the way home?
Dream I would suggest. I don’t see what else you can do. Unless you’re a sleepwalker. How cool would that be… managing to press the bell and get off the bus at the right stop without even waking up. I bet people in fairy tales can do it…

Wouldn’t mind having lack of sleep
This one’s come up in my statistics twice this week. Twice! On separate days! Are you people insane?
If you want to be tired that badly you’re welcome to take some of my lack of sleep… I’d be happy to exchange it for an extra two hours of rest.

Right, that’s your lot. I couldn’t find any more interesting ones, and the boyfriend will be here soon anyway, which means I need to figure out what we’re having for tea.

Question Time: The Return

I haven’t done one of these for ages. And it’s not like I even have any particularly interesting questions to answer (if it’s interesting questions you’re looking for you need to go here for fascinating facts about shrews and beetroot related pregnancies). I feel my blog is in need of some light hearted entertainment though – and a post that isn’t going to be made private the day after tomorrow – so question time it is…

What is a good skill to learn?
– How to fold the best paper aeroplanes in the world, ever
– The art of keeping spaghetti on the fork
– The best way to keep pot belly pigs
– How to travel round the world without emptying your bank account (if you want to know the answer to this one you need to read Hails‘ blog)
– The art of finding amazing bargains in clothes shops (this is totally a skill, and a very useful one too I might add)

Shall we get up and have a shower?
No, don’t do it! I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. Sleep is much better! Although if you’ve been lying in bed for the past three days then yes, definitely do get up before your ponginess takes on a life of its own and makes its way over here to offend my nostrils.

Why won’t my boyfriend give me a key?
1. He thinks you’re a nosy cow and doesn’t want you snooping around his place when he’s not there
2. He thinks you’ll lose it
3. He has a terrrible secret that he’s afraid you might discover
4. Giving you a key = making a commitment. He’s a man. Enough said I think.

Tired, lack of sleep
Ooh, is it a game? Can I join in? How about:
Cold, lack of heat
Thirsty, lack of liquid refreshment
Naked, lack of clothes
Hey, this is quite fun…

How do Germans eat strawberries?
Through their noses of course. How do you eat yours?

Were the English army tired or sleepy?
Yes, so tired and sleepy that they sat down to rest for a hundred years. Unfortunately before they could wake up King Jimmy of Scotland decided one throne wasn’t enough for him so he came down and had himself crowned King of England as well. That’s why these days we only have a British army.

Clean things to do when you’re bored
I don’t actually have a good answer to this one, but I just had to share. Who googles this stuff?
Umm, how about taking a shower. That‘s pretty clean… unless you take your significant other in with you of course.

Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies

I decided not to do question time last week since it had been such a slow week on the search engine terms front and there were only about three questions that were worth answering. The seven days since then haven’t been much better, but I don’t have anything else to write about and with the pickings from two weeks I should just about be able to scrape together enough questions for a whole blog post. Plus it might take my mind off the mosquito bite on my ankle (it’s itchy! Aargghhh! Make it stooop!).
Sooo, here goes. Time to answer the latest questions that have led Google readers to Confuzzledom…

1. Did you know the world is going to end?
Oh my gosh, is it really? And there was me thinking it was going to go on forever and ever. Thanks sooo much for spoiling my illusion. Next you’ll be telling me Father Christmas doesn’t exist…

3. Joachim Loew pronounce
So I’m guessing what you actually mean here is “How do you pronounce Joachim Loew”, although if you can’t even get the question right I don’t see why anyone should answer you. Hmph. But since I’m kind…
I wouldn’t even bother with the Joachim part if I were you. Just call him Jogi, all the Germans do. That’s pronounced Yogi by the way. As in the bear. And Loew is pronounced a bit like Lurrrv. Yogi Lurrrv. I bet you’ll never forget that again.

4. 24, what year was I born?
Okay Mr (or Ms.) anonymous googly person. I really don’t believe you’re actually 24. Surely if you were you’d have amanged to figure out what year you were bron by now. This is definitely someone trying to find out which year to out on their fake ID.
But just in case you really are 24 and for some unknown reason have managed to forget your year of birth here’s a tip for you. If you’re going to be 25 before December 31st you were born the same year the Red Hot Chilli Peppers formed. Now go ask Google for the answer to that riddle…

5. Ways to say summer is over.
Sorry, can’t help you there mate. I only know one way to say it and it’s right there in the question. Or do you think just saying “summer is over” is too direct? You could try saying “autum is here” I suppose. I mean, it does kind of imply summer is over. It can’t really be both at the same time…

6. I’ve got a headache could I have drunk
Drunk what? Don’t stop there, I was just starting to get intrigued! Do you think it might have been weedkiller? I don’t – I suspect that might give you a bit more than just a headache. Maybe it was the opposite of a pain killer… like a pain causer. Yeah, I bet that was it. Sshh, don’t tell anyone how you made it though, or we’ll all be wanting some for the days that we don’t feel like going to work…

OK, that’s it. Six measly little questions in two whole weeks. Do you think it’s cos all the kids have gone back to school?

Answering the world’s questions

I’ve had a headache and a sore throat all day today and I’m very, very tired, so I can’t be bothered to think of anything to blog about. Instead I’m going to get my friendly neighbourhood search engine users to do the thinking for me. Yes, it’s that time again. Time to answers the questions that google springs upon me. Those of you who don’t know what I’m on about about can go and read the introduction to my previous questions and answers session. The rest of you may carry on reading.
Here come the questions…

1. Questions to ask to prove people are drunk
I wouldn’t have thought you’d need to ask them anything. Surely the staggering around bouncing off walls thing gives it away. If you really can’t tell try asking them their phone number. I know I can never remember mine when I’m drunk. Mind you, I probably couldn’t tell you it when I’m sober either so it’s not exactly a foolproof test.

2. Why am I still tired when I wake up?
Possibly because you spent half the night on the computer asking Google stupid questions. Either that or you were forced to share a room with someone who snores. Or it’s Wednesday. Nobody can fail to wake up tired on a Wednesday. Fact.

3. How to practice translation
Find something to translate. Translate it. Show your translated version to a native speaker of that language. Find out your translation is crap. Translate the text again. Continue until either a) you get bored or b) your brain turns to mush from trying to think in two different languages at once. If you can keep this up every day for a month you’re ready to become a translator.

4. How to tell difference between black & navy socks
You can’t, it’s impossible. I suggest you throw out all the boring black and navy socks and go get yourself some interesting ones.

5. Why do I dream of serial killers
Three possibilities.
1) You’re a psycho
2) There actually is a serial killer out to get you
3) You’ve been watching too many horror films.
You choose which one you think applies to you.

OK, that’s all for today. My stats have been rather slow on the questions front lately and I really don’t feel like answering 12 different variations on the “I am bored” theme. If you enjoeyed this pop on over to Katy’s place for more question time. Meanwhile I’m off to suck on a strepsil and drink enough tea to fill a small bath.