What? You didn’t think because I wrote last night’s post this morning there would be no Friday letters this week, did you? Don’t be silly – that would never do! Here are my letters for the week:
Dear self. You are aware that it’s 7 December and you haven’t sent a single package of Christmas gifts to England yet, aren’t you? Get on it!! I am serious.
Dear giant turkey in my fridge. Please defrost in time. But not too quickly. I don’t want to poison anyone…
Dear housework. Why is there so much of you? And why do you take so long to complete? I think I need a robot.
Dear snow. You are pretty. Please could you stay this time and not turn into rain? I’m sick of rain!
Dear computer. I know you are old, but if you go any slower you’ll start running backwards! Sort it out. (Actually, dear boyfriend, it is your computer, so you should sort it out!).
Dear December. Having crept up on me while I wasn’t looking, you are now charging forward at an alarming pace. Please slow down!! I have too much to do, and you’re not leaving me any time to do it!
Dear person who came to read the metres for the heating. I would have liked to tidy up a bit more, but seeing as I was working from home (solely because you were coming!) I felt that I should actually do some work as well. I do apologise for the mess, though. There just aren’t enough hours in the day! By the way, if my boyfriend had been the one to stay home waiting for you, the place would probably have looked even worse. (Actually, the visit went so fast, I doubt the guy even noticed what the place looked like. I had to keep turning lights on for him cos he just didn’t bother!)
OK, now I’m off to send a parcel to America and buy the remianing ingredients for Sunday’s Christmas dinner. I have a list as long as your arm!