Bleurgh

Dear Throat,

Please do me a favour and stop hurting. And tell your friends the sneezes to stop lurking at the back of my nose waiting to come out as well. I don’t have time to be ill this week. I have deadlines you know. And we’re having a party to celebrate the boyfriend’s birthday on Saturday. There are going to be pancakes! I shall be most upset if you cause me to have to cancel pancakes! The party cannot be postponed as I have a seminar the following week.
I am now going to drink some Lemsip and get an incredibly early night. By the time I wake up in the morning I expect you to be at least almost gone, understood?

Yours, Beverley