How about some good news for a change?

The essay I did for Text Linguistics last month has been returned to me.
I got 67%… subject to the approval of the exam board. A pass at Master’s level is 50%, and I can’t see the exam board reducing it by more than 17% even if they do change it. So I never have to do Text Linguistics again. Woo hoo! I would say this calls for a celebration but as I’m trying very hard not to spend any money I don’t actually have anything to celebrate with.

My other piece of news is that I’m going to Rome. My mum is taking my brother as a treat for finishing his A-Levels and she asked us to go along so we could have one last family holiday before little bro goes off to uni (my sister and her boyfriend are going too). It was all arranged over the weekend… all that remained was for me to ask about time off then we were going to book it. Then, on the day that I was supposed to ask for time off, I lost my job instead. This left me with lots of time on my hands… but made spending money on a holiday seem a little bit wrong. So I told my mum we couldn’t go. Then the boyfriend decided that he still does want to go… and offered to pay for me as well. So we booked it… and I am now torn between feeling excited and incredibly guilty. Also, next time I’m at the employment agency (which will be whenever I get the forms back from my boss) I’ll have to inform them that I plan to leave the country and get their permission. Yes, you read that right. People who are on unemployment benefit in Germany are allowed to leave their place of residence for a certain of number of days each year but have to ask the permission of the employment agency in advance. I’m hoping they’ll let me off if I tell them it was all booked before I knew I was going to be unemployed and cancelling it would only cost more. Keep your fingers crossed for me, ok.

Well, I didn’t fail…

So yesterday I decided to check my university email on the off chance that for once they had actually taken less than 6 weeks to mark a piece of work.
They had. My assessed piece for Text Linguistics was sitting there waiting for me (yes, I actually manage to get the assessed work done, unlike the practice pieces which I’ve basically been ignoring for the past six months. Ooops). So I downloaded the attachment, saved it to the “Uni” folder on my desktop and, hands trembling slightly, opened the file. Somehow, amazingly, I did not fail! I got 53%. The passing grade for Master’s is 50%, so only just a pass, but a pass anyway. Relief all round. 53% isn’t bad considering I hate the module and really didn’t understand the assignment. Now if I can just manage to get my GETS portfolio done in time and get more than 50% for the second Text Linguistics assessment I should actually pass this year. And then it’s on to the thesis. Umm, shoot me now please?

Right, I’m off to take my tea out of the oven now. And then the boyfriend is coming round (in about an hour hopefully). He’s been away for almost a whole week! I just hope his train doesn’t get in late…

How to avoid study

The washing is done, the bin emptied and the desk cleared (I didn’t find any buried treasure by the way). The boyfriend has gone off to play poker at a friends. I was invited to play poker too but I can’t. I have tried to learn but I just end up confused and irritated. It’s all just too much for my simple brain to take in. So I’m home alone on a Saturday night. The perfect conditions for studying you might think. Except there’s pretty much nothing I feel less like doing right now. I have no desire to read through a so-called “lecture” (it’s a Word document for students of an online course to download, how can it be a lecture?) that starts like this:

Aims:
Understand what is meant by a text
– Understand what is meant by text analysis
– Understand what is meant by context
– Understand some theories for the analysis of context”

Sounds thrilling doesn’t it? No, I really don’t want to do that at all. I also don’t want to do the “hands on practical analysis” that comes afer the lecture. So instead I’m on here writing a pointless blog about not wanting to do my work. What I’d really like to do is spend all my money ordering books from Amazon before crawling into bed with Cecelia Ahern’s Thanks for the Memories (it’s pretty good up to now by the way) and a large box of chocolates. But spending all my money really isn’t a clever idea if I want to eat for the rest of the month and I don’t have even a small box of chocolates, never mind a large one. I do have some icecream, but even the thought of eating something cold makes my nose run so best not go there. One out of three ain’t bad though. I can live with just the book.

Stuff what needs doing

I’ve just seen someone give a beggar woman some money outside Aldi. Nothing unusual in that you might think – except this lady gave the beggar 10 euros. She might as well have just led her into Aldi and let her pick whatever alcohol she liked for that! It’s probably have been cheaper. And don’t tell me that’s not what the money’s going to be spent on. I saw this woman remember, and she’s definitely a booze and cigarettes type of beggar.

So the boyfriend is insisting that the pieces of pig I saw in Karstadt yesterday were not penises but in fact tails. Yeah, whatever. I mean, he could be right. Schwanz does officially mean tail after all, but it is a slang word for penis (the German equivalent of cock I suppose) and I know what I saw! It was the shape that made me look at them in the first place and they were certainly not like any tail I’ve ever seen. Anyway, aren’t pigs tails curly? These things were far from curly. Yup, they were definitely penises… or possibly penii. Anyone know what the plural of penis actually is?

Anyway, none of that was what I actually wanted to write about.
What I really wanted to do was write my to do list. You see I have sooo much that needs sorting this weekend and left to my own devices I know I’ll spend half of it in bed (I’m ill remember) and the other half reading blogs. So I thought if I publish it on the internet for the entire world to see I might actually shame myself into getting everything done. Well, maybe not everything. Most things…. or at least some of it. So here for your viewing pleasure, is my to do list. (Oh the endless excitement that is my life).

Laundry – is there ever a time that I don’t need to do laundry? It seems to be the never ending chore. I’ve actually managed to get two washing appointments tonight – the first of which is in half an hour. Woo, soon I’ll be able to cross off the first item on my list.

Take out the rubbish – my bin is so full it’s practically overflowing! Ooh, and that reminds me, I really need to buy binliners as well. I’ve been using Aldi carrier bags as replacements for the last three months!

Sort out my desk – it seriously looks like a bomb’s hit it. God only knows what’s buried under all the random pieces of paper, birthday cards (Yes I am aware my birthday was nearly 2 months ago…) and randomly coloured ball point pens. Maybe I’ll find treasure under there… or at least a couple of euros to go towards next weeks shopping.

Send some emails – I am a terrible, evil awful friend. I spend 99% of my evenings on the internet but fail to send a single email, ever. It’s so much easier to just write comments on people’s Facebook walls then spend the rest of my time reading, writing and just generally being obsessed by the blogosphere. I do have a couple of friends who aren’t on Facebook though and I really, really need to get in touch with thembefore they realise how long it’s been since I last sent an email.

Buy a birthday present – my friend is 25 on Monday. I have no idea what to get her! I mean, I say she’s my friend but really I don’t know her that well. I do just happen to be one of the few people she knows in Germany though. And she bought me a present once. Anyone have any good gift ideas?

Do my assignment for Text Linguistics – it’s actually supposed to be due today, but nobody else has done it. And anyway, he only said around 10th October. And I’m not well. I really should do it though – it doesn’t seem right to fall behind in the very first week!

Check out the prices of flights to England in December – for once we’re going to try and book them before they get stupidly expensive. I’m probably the only peron in the world who’s had to pay 160 euros for a Ryanair flight from Dublin to Newcastle…

OK, that’ll do. If I give myself too many tasks I’ll only get overwhelmed and end up too stressed to get anything done… well, that’s my excuse anyway 😉
Now if anyone out there is actually still awake feel free to go and reward yourself with a piece of cake and some caffeine.

Reading for pain and pleasure

I’ve just been looking at UWE’s online area. The summer holidays are over now and my Masters course is starting again. Time to get back to the old grindstone… cos working full time clearly just isn’t enough for me…
So I was looking at the course material for Text Linguistics where I discovered that the nice man running the course has kindly pointed out that the books he wants us to use are available at the UWE library. Umm, has he not realised that this is an online course. The participants are scattered throughout the world… exactly how useful does he imagine a library in Bristol is going to be? So it looks like I’m going to have to buy some lovely expensive books that I have no intention of ever using again once this module is over. Oh, and he wants the first practical exercise in on 10th October. As in this Friday. Remind me why I wanted to go back to uni?

Ooh, speaking of books – I bought myself a present today. I didn’t mean to, but I spotted it while I was in Thalia having a browse at what kids books they’ve got (I need to start buying Christmas presents now if I’m going to afford them all!) And I’ve wanted it for ages as well. Are you all intrigued now? SHould I tell you what I bought?
It’s Thankyou for the Memories by Cecelia Ahern. Yes, I am aware that her books are pretty much Chick Lit, but who cares. I love them. And they’re not half as brainless as some of the stuff that’s out there. Anyway, wooo something new to read. And for only 6 euros as well – bloody cheap for an English book in Germany!

Right, I’m off to do something useful now…. errm, after I’ve caught up on everyone’s blogs that is…