It seems it’s Wednesday again. I’m not sure how mind – wasn’t it only just last Wednesday? Like right before I blinked my eyes? Hmm, well it seems the world is continuing to spin on its axis even if my brain can’t keep up and it is, indeed, Wednesday again. And that can only mean one thing… Question time!
Here we go.
1. Would I die if I boiled washing up liquid?
Yes, definitely. A horrible, painful death brought on by the poisonous fumes of evaporated washing up liquid. Either that or you’d be murdered by the next person to use the kettle. It’s just not worth it.
2. What is the name of my future boyfriend?
Ezekial Alexander Timothy Simmons. Whatever you do don’t call him Eats, or he may not be your future boyfriend after all…
3. Things to write about when bored.
– Purple monkeys
– Chocolate cake
– Spaghetti monsters
– The inhabitants of an imaginary island
– A haunted suitcase
4. How to get rid of a nervous headache.
Aww, the poor thing’s so nervous it had to hide inside your head. Try reading aloud to it from “The Little Book of Confidence”.
5. What to do if you miss the tram.
I suggest you panic. It’s what any sensible person would do. Alternatively you could learn to fly. Or just wait for the next one.
6. What to do when you’re bored of paper.
Go retro and start using a slate instead. They’re about due for a comeback anyway.
7. Is 25 still young enough to be naive?
I certainly hope not, cos if it is I’m screwed.
No, wait, not true. I’m not naive. At least I don’t think I am… am I?
I have to go and listen to the Kooks now – Naive is now playing inside my head and it sounds sooo much better when they do it!
Confuzzledom 