Gotta get out of this place

I made a decision over the weekend.
I decided that I have to get out of here at the next available opportunity. I have to.It doesn’t matter whether I have a real job or not, even if I have no idea where I’m going to be 2 months after that date I am moving out.

Back in December, when my boyfriend decided it was time to move out of this student residence, we made the decision not to live together. He didn’t want to and I didn’t want to. The difference between was that I didn’t want to then but thought I might want to in the future. Jan just just knew he wasn’t ready to move in with me – he’s not the kind of person that thinks about the future. But that didn’t matter then. Mostly I was just jealous – why was it that he, who didn’tmind living in this building and had never even thought about moving out before, was going to be getting his own flat whereas I, who had been talking aboout wanting to move out for months and months, was going to be stuck here – possibly forever? No fair!

So fast-forward a few months. It’s April. He’s moved all his stuff out, the key to his old room has been returned, I’m forced to sleep in my own bed, cook in my own kitchen… and Jan has a flat mate. A flat mate who actually uses the flat. Meanwhile Jan doesn’t actually spend a night at his flat until May. So where did he sleep during that time? In my room of course. He might not have wanted to live with me officially, but he didn’t have any problem with sharing a bed with me every night. (He doesn’t mind me doing all his washing for him either, but that’s besides the point).

So now it’s August and here’s how things stand:
Jan is still living with Maik and is now starting to think that maybe he would have been better off living with me after all. Maybe. But he’s very cleverly set it up so that we won’t be moving in together for a very long time.
He told me at the weekend that he didn’t want to be moving around all the time, so he got a flat with the intention of staying in it until he finishes his phd… in four years time. Guess what? So did his flat mate. So that means Jan has no intention of moving out of his flat for the next four years and neither does Maik. Four years! I’ll be nearly 30 be then. (29 is nearly 30 no matter what way you look at it). I pointed out to Jan that he’d basically set things up so that there was no way we’d be moving in together at any point. He didn’t say anything to that, just looked at me. Then when I told him to stop looking at me like I’d slapped him round the face he replied “I’m looking at you like that because it’s true… and I feel bad.” So now I feel bad that he feels bad and… it’s all a big mess.

But all of that isn’t the point. That’s just background. The point is… four years. Four bloody years. That’s how long I’m going to have to wait for my boyfriend, unless he or Maik has a radical change of opinion in the meantime. And I refuse to spend that time here. I am not living in a student residence until I’m 29. No way, no how. Not happening.

So I’m moving out. At the next available opportunity. Which will be March.
Phew. I feel so much better now I’ve made that decision.

6 thoughts on “Gotta get out of this place

  1. poor you. That sucks. When I first went out with my ex-husband he didn’t let me move in with him despite the fact that the only time I went home was Sunday afternoon to do my laundry. But, he wouldn’t give me a key and he wouldn’t even let me leave a toothbrush in his bathroom. It was a nightmare and I put up with it for eight months. He then had to find a new flat and I gave him an ultimatum. If he still wanted to be with me he had to either pay my rent or let me share his new flat.

    He ungraciously agreed to share a flat with me. Those eight months of living out of bags was really hard work and depressing. I look back at it now and think: ‘Duh!’ why did I put up with that crap?

    You have my total sympathy

  2. There’s nothing worse than not being happy where you live. It changes how you feel about everything if you don’t like going home at the end of the evening. I say move out asap and rather than moving in with Jan, accept that he will probably move in with you wherever you go. So, you still end up living together just in a financially crazy way…….

  3. Katy – Wow, don’t think I would put up with that! It’s not like Jan is refusing to let me move in… he has now decided that he wants to live with me eventually, the problem is his flat mate. Can’t really throw him out to make room for me…

    Wels Girl – I will be moving out ASAP. In this case ASAP means March (technically you can go at anytime but then you run the risk of having to pay half rent while they try to find someone else to take over the room – much easier to just leaveon one of their prescribed dates at the end of a semester). I shall be saving up most of my pay for the next few months so I can be absolutely sure I can afford the deposit for a flat when I move out. 6 months and counting…

  4. Hm. Well- that’s all pretty stupid, I understand. But then again, to me, the idea of living in the same town while not living in the same flat doesn’t sound that awkward. I kinda like the idea of being able to go home alone whenever you feel like it. I have had a talk abut this with Jermain, too. He certainly wants to live with me again and I’d also prefer to have him in Marburg instead of Hann.Münden. However, as I already said, I do like the idea of living in two different flats.

  5. Welll, maybe living in two separate flats wouldn’t be so bad. But I’m not even living in a flat… I’m living in a room. And sharing a kitchen full of moths with 15 other people. Yeah, a flat would be better.
    Buuut… I don’t want to live on my own foever. And right now 4 years sounds like forever. Especially the part where in four years I’ll be nearly 30. That’s like old

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