I love my boyfriend very much, but there are some things I’m hoping we can sort out rather quickly once we start living together.
Like his weird ideas about time for one…
To me, it is quite clear that some time between six and seven at night, it’s tea time (or dinner time if you prefer. Whatever, time to eat anyway). Given that I have my lunch somewhere between twelve and one, meaning by 6 pm it’s been at least 5 hours since the last time I ate, I’d consider that fairly reasonable. Jan, however, is incapable of being home from work that early (apparantly he’s only productive in the afternoon/evening) so we agreed on a compromise – I would have tea ready by 8 pm, he would either be there to eat it or heat his up later. It was a good system, it was working. Then the deadline for the dissertation started to creep closer. I was told that I should now be using my time after work to work on the dreaded D-word. Note use of the phrase “I was told”… as in this was not my idea. I was not to cook any food. No, Jan would do that when he came in. Oh, and he also promised to get home earlier so that we could actually eat at a reasonable time. Sounds good, no? And it would be if it worked. Clearly something, somewhere is going wrong though. Because if his plan was actually being put into action as stated we would not have eaten at half past ten last night. And I would not be sitting here now – at ten minutes past nine in the evening – listening to my stomach crying out for food. And this despite the fact that Jan called me at 20 past 7 (almost two hours ago!!!) to say he was just going to pick his laptop up from work, then would do a bit of shopping and come home to cook. If this didn’t happen all the time I’d probably be worried something had happened to him…
Actually, if I wasn’t so hungry I would probably still be worried (even though it happens all the time). Right now, though, all I can think about is whether I’m actually going to get anything to eat tonight.
I think I preferred it when I had to work on my dissertation and do all the cooking…
Confuzzledom 
He told you to stop cooking food for him? Wow, silly boy! No way would I wait for someone if I was hungry, get the toaster fired up at least!
Cook your own food until the dissertation is finished?
Why can’t you eat without him? Try to change up the timing. Clearly you both lead busy lives and a part of those busy lives is the time you spend together. It shouldn’t be spent waiting or being mad at each other – thus if he’s usually busy and doesn’t come home after work, have dinner while you watch a show that you prefer – use this time to do what you like, fill the void of being alone with something else. When he does come home, he can eat his dinner and you could perhaps eat dessert with him? Or just chat up while he’s eating. Or you could spend some time before you both sleep, together on the couch doing something you enjoy. If dinner is hard to have together, switch it to breakfast, or meet each other for lunch if possible.
Clearly the lives you lead are not apt at meeting dinner time, so have that time which you want to be alone, found somewhere else =)
Yes, I think you should make something for yourself if you’re hungry and let him fend for himself right now. You may not eat the healthiest for a while, but at least you’ll eat at reasonable intervals. And he can eat as late as he wants (and you can snack with him, if you’re at all peckish at whatever o’clock)!
i wouldn’t wait either. if i’m hungry, i am hungry, and you wouldn’t want to keep me waiting HOURS to get food. me would be very pissy then! 😉
franzi
Cynical Scribble – but the whole pojnt was for me not to cook my own food anymore. I cooked every meal for ages, then Jan decided he should do it so that I would actually have time to work on my dissertation…
verballyvomit – the boyfriend would never agree to having breakfast together – that would mean losing his lie in 😉
Before the dissertation I would make dinner, if he wasn’t home when it was ready I would either try to keep it warm without ruining it or eat my share leaving him to heat his up when he got in. It worked well. he’s the one that decided he should cook so I can work. But when he doesn’t even come home til 9pm and I ate lunch at 12:30 hunger is the result!
pinklea – before the dreaded D word I would go to bed before he came in, leaving his food to be heated up. Now I’m sitting waiting around to eat past the time I would rather be sleeping!
Franzi – I end up prowling round the house looking for chocolate to snack on just to satisfy the worst of the hunger. If I get fat we all know who’s to blame 😉
What if you tried to do some food prep on the weekend, even down to making one or two meals (like casseroles) and freezing them. That way you can eat without really “cooking”, you’ll just have to heat something up and you won’t have to wait for him.